Let Them Eat Loaf

“This sandwich loaf will be the talk of the party. Lots can be said about the delicious shrimp, olive and ham fillings!”

Loaf is served!
Loaf is served!

The above quote is from the Betty Crocker website, which features this Party Sandwich Loaf. It sounds as if they’re dissing their own retro recipe. Lots can be said? Lots of horrible things, is what they mean. Like, what misanthrope brings something stuffed with deviled ham salad to a party? I imagine someone standing over the buffet table and saying, “Who brought this?” in an accusatory tone.

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Celebrate Life Day with Chewie, Lumpy and the Gang

lumpyTonight is the Third Annual Toys For Tots Screening of the Star Wars Holiday Special (from 1978), brought to you by the MN Film & TV Board, at Bryant Lake Bowl in Minneapolis. There will be a short intro by Transylvania TV (“the retro monster comedy that’s really not for kids”), complete with some trivia questions, Marines collecting unwrapped toys for Toys For Tots and photo ops with a Storm Trooper, Rebel Pilot and Princess Leia from the Rebel Legion. Clint Lugert of THEY Design designed a kickass poster for the event and it will be for sale for $15.

Best of all, you can order up some drinks in the theater and not have to watch this thing sober. I’ve seen the entire special once and that might have been enough for me. I’m going to be there but more for enjoying holiday drinks with friends in the bar than watching the special, although I may sneak in for the part with Bea Arthur. I love Bea, her gangly stature, pessimism and deep voice – and she sings in the cantina for this! She’s my favorite Golden Girl, hands down. RIP, Bea.

Anyway, the theater at BLB is kinda tiny – I think it actually only seats 95 – so there is a chance that some people will not get in. But everyone can enjoy the Treebacca poster! It’s super rad. If you want to buy one online, visit the THEY Design poster store.

Treebacca Poster
Get Yer Poster While Ya Can!

The Bad Boys of Christmas

If jolly Santa Claus doesn’t do it for you, you may need to go Euro when it comes to finding some Christmas sexy.

krampusBachelor Number 1 – Krampus (aka Krotchus)
Age: 545
Occupation: badass
Hobbies: eating grass, terrifying children, hitting people with sticks
Mr. Krampus is often described as “goat-like” in appearance – long face, horns, fur – and has bad breath. His main paying gig takes place on December 5th each year when he roams rural areas (where he still has street cred) with chains and sticks threatening women and children. Krampus targets virgins, too, and makes sure that they get a “birching,” which consists of hitting them on the ass or back with a birch stick as punishment for… still being virgins (see Exhibit A). If the Krampus thinks your kid is a brat, he’ll load him up in a basket and take him to hell (or Spain, depending upon his mood). Most disturbing of all, Wikipedia refers to Krampus as an incubus which, if you don’t know, is a male demon who has sex with women while they sleep. Or sometimes while they are awake – I guess it depends on his mood.
Likes: virgins, birch trees, sex in the morning (noon and night are OK too), eating bad children
Dislikes: warmth, casserole, hot chocolate, puppies

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2009: The Random Recap

Best Experiences
Every day spent with Keith but especially the small things: cooking dinner, making fun of TV news, walking, bike riding
Isla Mujeres, Mexico
Tuscany
The dog beach at Afton State Park on a beautiful summer day
Biking anywhere, even to work

Best Purchases
A Roku!!
Flat, black leather boots by daniblack
Yet another pair of Isotoner mittens (probably the 20th pair of my adult life since I lose them constantly) because I hate gloves!
Olive oil from the Fubbiano Winery in Tuscany
Recycled plastic colander (brightly colored enameled colanders are a rusty lie!) Sometimes it’s the little things.

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You’re My Present This Year: Weird TV Commercials

One of the most interesting things about the holiday season is all the strange commercials that start popping up on TV. You can usually count on some doozies from Lexus, Kay Jewelers and Folgers and this year is no exception. Here’s my take on the strangest commercials out there this year.

cup-of-coffeeThe number one slot for weird goes to the “Brother Homecoming” commercial for Folgers (an update on the classic “Peter Comes Home” commercial from years ago). The older brother knocks on the front door (weird already) and his sister answers it. Only you have no idea she’s his sister based on his reaction – he’s says, “Do I have the wrong house?” meaning, “You’re one sexy lady!” and she points to herself and says, “Sister! Ha ha ha.” What? I expected them to start making out. She says something like, “I waited up for you all night.” Huh? Really? And then he says, “It’s a long way from West Africa.” Notice he says West Africa, which is nice and vague and not at all threatening so people don’t become sad thinking about Darfur  or upset thinking about Somali pirates.

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Little Edie T-Shirts On The Way

Beautiful Edie blogSome of you (five of you) may remember my design for a Little Edie Beale t-shirt. I’ve just ordered some! I’m only getting a small amount and right now I believe they will be for sale on etsy.com when they become available. They are white, crew neck shirts with the design on the front. About as simple a t-shirt as one can get and yet… so chic! Layer one over an oxford shirt or long-sleeved t-shirt for winter, add a cardigan or blazer and you’re good to go.

Confession: these are not American Apparel shirts. Horrors of horrors! I’m still really pissed about what they tried to do to Woody Allen, so I’m saying no to A.A. Actually, I just decided to go with a less expensive shirt that is still soft cotton but probably made by one-armed, 3-year-olds in a Romanian factory. Not that I’m trying to make light of that situation… sweat shops and all… OK, I’m a horrible person and you shouldn’t buy my shirt!! No, buy my shirt! It will be reasonably priced ($20 to $25), which is pretty good, right? I don’t know. I’ve seen $45 t-shirts on the Internet. I’ve seen $40 t-shirts at J. Crew.  My sense of what’s reasonable for a t-shirt has been called into question.

T-shirts will be available at the end of December or early Jan. 2010. Very limited number so, if you want  one, check this blog and RUSH to etsy the moment I post them. See what I’m doing? Creating a sense of scarcity. That’s called Marketing, people!

2009: The Year In Food

Chef Curd

Like this little guy? He’s a cheese curd from the folks over at Eat Curds.com. Curds are just one thing I ate in 2009 that I liked. I like to eat and I like to make lists so here’s my look back on the year in food that was as I gear up for the Year That Will Be. I’ve compiled this list of amazing things consumed in the past year (uh, amazing to me. I’m not one of those Adventure Eaters scouring the globe for jam made from the thoraxes of sweet beetles), all of them worth the calories. While making this list I realized that I’m incredibly Minneapolis-centric when it comes to eating… unless I’m on vacation. Here’s to branching out to eat in other cities and suburbs in 2010. But first, here’s to some of the best things I ate in 2009.

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Conspiracy Theory: Was Mommie Dearest a Crock of Shit?

Mommie Dearest CoverConspiracy theories are usually aimed at assassinations, UFOs, religion, Bill Clinton, Richard Gere, etc.  We’ve all heard the JFK assassination theories. We’ve heard about how the U.S. never really landed on the moon – it all took place on a sound stage!

But have you heard the one about Mommie Dearest?

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But You Are In That Chair! Pre-Holiday Edition

baby jane laughing2From time to time, Baby Jane Hudson appears here with her question and answer column, But You Are In That Chair: Baby Jane’s Advice For the Confused, Depressed and Clueless. However, today’s special focus is Holiday Shopping for the Confused, Depressed and Financially Dependent because Baby Jane strongly believes it’s never too early to start in on all the holiday crap as long as it includes festive, spiked punch, scratch-off games and the all-holiday music radio station turned up just loud enough that you can’t hear your invalid sister crying for a moist towelette.

Dear Baby Jane,
I want to give the gift of music this holiday. What’s hot and new this season?
I Wanna Rock, Boys Town, Nebraska

Continue reading But You Are In That Chair! Pre-Holiday Edition

This Is No Time For Fun And Games

nyc_prep_shoppingYou know how, when you’re healthy, you sometimes think, “Oh, if only I could stay home today and lie on the couch and watch TV ALL DAY. Or read ALL DAY. And eat whatever I want. And ignore the world?” And then, as soon as you’re sick and actually lying on the couch, watching TV and reading back issues of The New Yorker ALL DAY, you feel horrible, miserable and don’t enjoy it at all? Yeah, what’s that all about? I know life isn’t fair but, come on, throw me a wishbone here.

So, yeah, been sick. Whoopee!!

What it entailed was a lot of coughing, gasping for air, tension headaches, sleeplessness, eating chocolate chips from a bowl while watching TV and periods of restless “clean up” around the house. The cleaning up was me thinking, “Oh, what’s a little illness? I can still dust, vacuum and do laundry… Uh, I don’t feel so hot… all that dusting made me feel… faint…” So then I gave up on productive activities and decided to read books. Catch up on some reading, see? Keep the brain working. Learn stuff. But then that became too hard. “What did I just read? What… Eat cookie? What was that last sentence? What if I don’t really have a cold but instead I have cancer?”

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How Working Women Can Cope: Make A Hot Dog Fondue

Woman in purple top 1977Somewhere along the line, I acquired a random copy of a Woman’s Day magazine from August 1977. Every so often I take it out and page through it. Although 1977 wasn’t THAT long ago, it’s like paging through a manual for another way of life. What I love most are the products, most of them long gone, the poor design and the absolute innocence of the copy. It was enough to say, “Emeraude. The liquid jewel no one can see, yet no one can ignore.” Would that work now? Probably not. Now we’d have something more along the lines of “Emeraude. The liquid that will get you laid.” Well, something like that.

So, here are some snapshots of Woman’s Day from 1977.  Settle back with a cup of coffee or tea and enjoy… but wait… what’s this?

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But You Are In That Chair!

babyjaneface smallFrom time to time, Baby Jane Hudson appears here with her question and answer column, But You Are In That Chair: Baby Jane’s Advice For the Confused, Depressed and Clueless.

Dear Baby Jane,
I’m a filmmaker and I want to enter one of my short films into a competition but it seems as if everyone who has ever won the competition has had many, many more accolades and achievements than I do. Although everyone who has seen my film says it’s amazing, I wonder if I should even bother to enter.
Filmy in Portland

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The Official Preppy Handbook: Dressing Preppy

green_whale_pinkIf you’re looking to express your offbeat, kooky personality, dressing preppy probably isn’t for you. The number one principle is sameness. Sameness from day-to-day but also sameness with your fellow Preps. You have your sturdy go-to wardrobe staples – your beige corduroys for the weekend, your tennis whites, your navy blue suit, pink polo for picnics – and then you never need to think about wardrobe ever again.

Still intrigued? Here are some basic tenets to follow when dressing, courtesy of the Handbook:

1. Conservatism
2. Neatness – Yes, you do need to tuck in your shirt.
3. Attention to detail – skimp on the details and everyone will spot you for a fake!
4. Practicality – forget stiletto heels; embrace the classic pump
5. Quality – No, you don’t go to Forever 21 and load up on trendy clothes.
6. Natural Fibers – synthetics scream disco era, poor taste, lack of money.
7. Anglophilia – Except maybe for Burberrys, now that they’ve cheapened the brand.
8. Specific Color Blindness – pastels do go with primary colors!
9. The Sporting Look – even if you’d never hunt down a spider in your bathroom in order to flush it down the toilet, it’s best to look as if you’re joining a fox hunt in ten minutes. Or going off to flush pheasants from your hedges. But beware: the deer hunting look doesn’t pass muster.
10. Androgyny – your khakis, rain gear, wool sweaters and tweed jackets should look just as good on Muffy as they do on Bink.

Continue reading The Official Preppy Handbook: Dressing Preppy

Levi Johnston: Meet The Ghosts of Playgirls Past

Geraldo Rivera2Blogs and news sources are all a-flutter about Levi Johnston’s plan to appear nude in Playgirl Magazine… My initial reaction is, “He knows mostly gay men read that, right?” I mean, assuming anyone at all is still reading/looking at it (there were announcements in 2008 that Playgirl was going away; now it seems to be readying itself for online-only existence).

Not that there’s anything wrong with this (although there are plenty of other, better sources for gay porn and I can’t imagine any self-respecting gay man reaching for Playgirl first but probably more as a, “Oh, well, wtf, I’ve got some time to kill” moment), but I get the impression that Levi Johnston prides himself on being the “All-American Beefcake Hunter Dude from Alaska” who doesn’t take shit from his baby’s granny. The kind of guy who tells and laughs at jokes about “homos” as a way to assert his heterosexuality. So does he realize he’s going to bare all for a largely gay audience? According to Wikipedia, “In 2003, Mark Graff, President of Trans Digital Media, the brand management firm for Playgirl TV, stated that 50% of Playgirl’s readership are gay males.”

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A Critical Analysis of Troll 2 Reveals Diatribe Against Ills Of Modern Society

troll2bWhile the feature film Troll 2 is often held up as the “worst movie ever,” a closer analysis reveals it to be much more than a shitty movie made for cheap in a small town in Utah. In fact, lying beneath the often confusing plot are powerful messages about the ills and dangers associated with a rapidly changing society.  I will identify three major messages, or themes, within the film and formulate questions that will serve to heighten our understanding of Troll 2, regardless of whether or not we, as individuals, enjoy the film as entertainment.

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Anti-Fan Fiction: Heartburn

MerylStreep1Am I the only person on the planet who is not taken in by the charms of Meryl Streep? Whenever I see her get weepy and red-eyed in a drama, I want to run away. Whenever she’s being quirky in a comedy, I can’t bring myself to watch. I have never seen Mama Mia! Can you fucking believe it?? I should turn in my Midwesterner Membership card.

But the movie Heartburn takes the Streep cake. (OK, there’s that “A dingo at my baby,” movie, too.)

I think anytime you’re beginning with revenge fantasy material, you’re in murky waters. Heartburn, in case you aren’t aware, is the “fictional” story of a woman who is cheated on by her husband while she’s pregnant with their second child. I say fictional in quotation marks because it’s really the thinly-disguised bio-pic of Nora Ephron, who was cheated on by Bob Woodward while pregnant with their second child and then wrote the novel Heartburn. Who can really blame her for writing it? They say, “Write what you know,” and when what you know is sensational and revenge-driven, well, it’s gonna sell books and tickets and eventually you’re going to get to make Sleepless in Seattle.

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The Official Preppy Handbook: Failing Upwards

The ability of some people to fail upwards is one of my favorite topics because I’m fairly certain I’ve never pulled it off. This is not to say, “I certainly haven’t failed upwards; I’ve worked hard for everything I’ve got.” It simply means – I find myself working hard but not necessarily realizing the meteoric rise some others do and there is definitely a lack of free stuff being showered upon me. For me, I’m sure this has to to do with personality. There are some people who are born self-promoters and/or bullshitters and I’m not one of them. But enough about me. The Handbook says, “Only those who continually fail to strive and to succeed are rewarded with the respect reserved for the upper crust.”

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Fan Fiction: Saturday Night Fever

doreen sat night fever smallEven though I’m only a cashier by day, I’m a dancer by night. Weeknights, I dance in my room, in front of the mirror, until Ma yells, “Doreen, knock it off! The floor is vibratin’ like crazy!”

She hates disco. I love disco.

I tell her I gotta practice. “I gotta keep goin’, Ma,” I yell down the stairs.

“The hell you do,” she yells back.

Every night it’s like that. And every morning she gives me the stink eye while I’m eating my cereal before I go to work to stand on my feet for eight hours.

“You’re too loud,” she says. “I’m gonna have to kick you out if I can’t hear my programs.”

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The Official Preppy Handbook: A Reading List

preppy handbook smallOne thing to remember as you’re working on your Prep status, is that it’s a lifestyle, not just a fashion trend. It has to be incorporated into every facet of your life, including your reading material. According to the Handbook, some safe bets are books about Prep schools or classics assigned to be read in Prep schools, books about Preppies and books about the joys and miseries of being a Prep.

I’ll tell you what’s not on the list: anything by Dan Brown or Stephanie Meyer. You can forget reading such common fodder (unless you hide it in the bathroom for reading on the throne).

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Welcome To Satan’s Alley

Staying Alive - smallBack in 2001, I sent out a few movie reviews via e-mail. What I really wanted was a blog but I guess I didn’t know how to do it and  it wasn’t so easy as it is now, so I used e-mail to send reviews to people I knew (not all of whom asked for it, by the way). Since I’ve just been rewatching Saturday Night Fever, I started thinking about the first movie I reviewed via e-mail – Staying Alive. Plus, a friend who used to get the e-mails asked me a couple of weeks ago why I don’t do them anymore. I found this interesting – someone WANTED more of my weird “reviews” of movies that had been out for years. Anyway, I combed through my old e-mails and found the review.

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Fan Fiction: Saturday Night Fever

BRING ME FLESH AND BRING ME WINE

saturday_night_fever_smallerMan, am I sick of this guy, or what?

Tony this, Tony that. Tony, you’re such a good dancer. You know what Connie actually said the other night? She said, “Tony, are you as good in bed as you are on the dance floor?” He was all smiles. I been tryin’ to hit that c*&^ for six months now and it all comes down to Tony being able to shake his ass, pump his fists, twirl that bitch around out on the dance floor?

It’s not easy being part of The Faces. Know what that means? We give good Face – we come to the club, not a hair out of place, nice shoes, top-of-the-line silk shirts and we class up the joint. Saturday night is the only night of the week when I feel like somebody. But I’m co-pilot and Tony is captain and it ain’t fair.

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The Official Preppy Handbook: Managing Those Dollah Billz

rainbow dollarThis is where things get complicated in the Prep lifestyle. If you’re serious about being a Prep, you’ve got to back up your rep with some serious cash, or at least the illusion of it. How do you create that illusion? Well, hopefully you don’t have to because you’ve got a trust fund. Barring that, you can cultivate an air of richness that you pair it with enough turtlenecks and an easygoing relationship with a credit card. Here are some do’s and don’t gleaned from the Handbook.

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The Official Preppy Handbook: Of Ducks and Dogs

Hey, Bunny here! Back with OPH tips for selecting a pet.

But first, let me say that this Preppy duck motif has been weighing heavily on my mind since last night (see last post). My home is really not duck-compliant. So I did some searching on  Craig’s List to find some duck-related items I could purchase to Preppify my environment.

duck printI found a Shoveler Duck Print with the added note of, “Finally an Upscale Duck Print!” Apparently a lot of people are selling down-market duck prints out there. Buyer beware and all that. The print is limited edition, signed and out-of-circulation. It can be mine for only $575. The seller says, “It was more than just another print of a handsome duck, it was a limited edition done by someone with an artistic flair not totally concerned with replicating the Shoveler like a photo, but as concerned with bringing the feeling of the wild with the picture in an artistic manner.

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The Official Preppy Handbook In A Web 2.0 World

preppy handbook cover2Do you by any chance remember The Official Preppy Handbook? I do. I own a copy. It was published in 1980 (retailed in paperback for $3.95) and was probably ahead of the curve, getting out there before “preppy” officially became part of the lexicon and something of a punchline in the mid-to-late 80s. Essentially, it’s a humorous book, of course, but it also served as a kind of a road map for how to be prep, even if you weren’t born into the lifestyle and felt so inclined. The introduction states that, “Preppies don’t have to be rich, Caucasian, frequenters of Bermuda or ace tennis players.” The book has a certain something in common with today’s Gossip Girl and makes you think a bit more deeply about Gwyneth Paltrow, Izod and Ivy League schools.

It also makes me think about pink and green, a color combo I still associate with Prep, turtlenecks with repeating patterns of tiny whales spouting water or apples, wool blazers and movies like St. Elmo’s Fire. Ah, good times.

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Taking On The Italians

La Spezia 2

I recently returned from a trip to Italy. Tuscany, to be exact. I am not a well-traveled person but when I do travel, I like to be somewhat immersed. Meaning, no tour buses, please, and a place to stay that allows for interactions in cities and towns. Although, tour buses do have their advantages… Everything must go so smoothly as you glide from one pre-determined location to another.

After a week back at home, I’ve decided to put together a collection of my thoughts and travel tips. Keep in mind that these are the result of one trip to Italy and no, I don’t speak Italian. So, authority? No way. But hopefully still interesting, especially if you’ve never been to Italy and are considering making a trip.

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The Mighty Whitetail Deer Dress

Earlier in the summer, I used a coloring book from Fleet Farm to find an embroidery pattern of a whitetail buck. I eventually chose a buck’s head that I wanted to work with. I found a dress at Arc in Richfield that was cute and polka dotted but need some detailing. I embroidered my deer head onto it, took in the sides quite a bit and cut off about 4 inches from the bottom and hemmed it so that the overall effect was less frump, more fab. I found a purple belt to go with it but there is also a polka-dotted sash that came with the dress.

Here is the result of my handy work! The dress gets its official unveiling/first wearing on Monday.

Keep reading to see the photos…

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The Way He Lived

dominick-dunneFailure, if you can get through it, is a great experience to have had.” – Dominick Dunne

Today I got the news that Dominick Dunne died at age 83. I had only recently, within the past year, discovered Dunne’s collected writing about high-society crime, although I’d read various pieces in Vanity Fair off and on for years. I became so intrigued by him that I bought his memoir The Way We Lived Then, which is narrative but also a collection of incredible photos from his years in Hollywood, when he was married to his wife, Lenny. He was a compulsive photo-taker and scrap-booker (not in the way people scrapbook now, with all the doodads and foo-foos and cut-outs), in addition to an avid party-giver, and the book  is a moving document of a bygone era when life, for Dunne, was easy and he was living in Shangri-La.

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The FRIDAY Outlook – June 26th, 2009 Oops!

aaron1. Keith’s book, Nowhere Band, Volume 1: Live From St. Paul is out! Head on over to Lulu and order one in full, delightful color or crisp black and white. What’s Nowhere Band? It’s a web comic loosely based on Keith’s experiences as a bottom feeder in the Minneapolis music scene (or it could be any music scene – its more about the funny dynamics in a band than Minneapolis specifically). On his site he says, “For about ten years, I’ve been making music and writing about it, and Nowhere Band is what happens when all of this experience collides with my obsession over comics. Check out Nowhere Band online and, if you enjoy what you see, consider buying the first 56 strips in handy book format that you can reference anytime – like when you’re out camping or riding the bus or, I don’t know, driving.  Or consider buying it as a gift for the loved one in your life who hasn’t given up the dream of Rock And Roll Hootchie Coo. Support your local cartoonist! Start seeing cartoonists!

Continue reading The FRIDAY Outlook – June 26th, 2009 Oops!

The List: Strange Incidents Involving Past Bosses

I’ve had a lot of bosses because I’ve had a lot of jobs. So there have been many “incidents,” as I like to call them, throughout the years that don’t seem to add up to much until, well, maybe they do…

1. The Dead-Bird-In-the-Tissue-Box Incident – I had a boss no one liked very much but particularly one co-worker who was older than my boss and had been there longer and was having some, shall we say, negative feelings about reporting to someone younger. The two of them would either be screaming at each other in my boss’s office or exchanging passive aggressive remarks in staff meetings. This was at a Catholic school for girls (so don’t let religious people try to fool you about how harmonious and understanding they are – both these women had attended the school as teens and went on to work there, so they’d been in the environment a long time and both behaved like infants). Things came to a head right around Easter vacation. My boss took the week off to go someplace (maybe Sante Fe – she was always going on about Sante Fe) and I stayed there for most of the time but then was off for the long weekend.

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The Wednesday Outlook: June 17, 2009

906528051_3d0027369d_mThis week, a random round-up of stuff to keep you amused.

To Look At:
These are some of my favorite websites/blogs to check out lately.
Design Sponge
Living The Beautiful Life
Color Me Katie
and
Whorange

You can see that they all have slightly the same theme… cool things to look at, beautiful artwork, the DIY spirit… I guess this is where my head is at even though I’m not making much at the moment. I like to look and dream. I wish my website were more like these but, well… maybe someday!

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A Rocky Start For Dr. Oliver Cuddles

When we last saw Dr. Oliver Cuddles, he was preparing to embark on a sabbatical from his psychiatric practice of 23 years. The purpose of the sabbatical was two-fold: 1. To enter into intense psychotherapy of his own and 2. To explore a latent interest in camping.

Now, just several weeks into the sabbatical, Dr. Cuddles finds himself untethered and drifting for the first time in his life. His first choice for an analyst, Dr. Phil, wasn’t available due to an ongoing television commitment. His second choice, Dr. Laura Schlessinger, was not taking on new patients.

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The Wednesday Outlook: June 10th

Keith is about to come out with his first book of collected Nowhere Band comic strips (numbers 1-56).  This is the rejected author photo… He went with something else even more hilarious than him looking through our cat door. The one he chose involves a bathrobe, which is all I can say.

He’s been working hard on formatting everything for the book (which will be available in both color and black and white), doing all that stuff he does on his computer and in Photoshop. I admit my ignorance of the process but I love the results. This is not something that he would ever make a point of telling people, but he taught himself to draw over the course of the last 3 or 4 years. He got into comics, which I think inspired him to learn to draw, took a couple classes and developed his own comic. That’s what I admire about him – that he’ll just take something on, get off his ass and do it. Which is how you need to tackle any art or hobby that requires a lot of practice.

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The List: Sad Summer Events Part I

Sometimes I think summer might be the saddest season of the year. Yes, the weather is great and life is easier. But it’s also the time when we become nostalgic about summers past and spend a lot of time trying too hard to have fun and recapture past glory. People tend to organize a lot of silly events to make people feel young again, get families to spend time with one another or invoke town pride.

So this week I present: The Saddest & Lamest Events of Summer 2009 (in the Twin Cities area)

Continue reading The List: Sad Summer Events Part I

Dr. Oliver Cuddles Invited Me To His Farewell Party

Welcome, Welcome, Welcome To My Party!

RC:  Hi, Dr. Cuddles! I was sad to hear that you’re closing your office after so many years of helping deeply troubled people.

Dr C: Yes, yes. But it’s time to take a break and uncover my authentic self, much like a gardener puts on gloves and goes out to the garden in the springtime to pick up soggy piles of old leaves only to reveal… grubs.

RC: But you’re Dr. Cuddles, psychotherapist extraordinaire, you must know who you are. If you don’t know who you are, how can your patients ever know who they are? Besides, what else will you do?

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The List: Summer Reading 2009

Every summer I create a list of books to read that stretches to about 25 and then I read about 4 of them, what with distractions from new books coming out or just discovered, magazines (which take up more of my reading time than I like to admit) and nice weather that demands going outside and being active, for Pete’s sake, before the hammer of fall hits.

Continue reading The List: Summer Reading 2009

Arts + Crafts = Cheap Laffs

If you need a pick-me-up during the day, I suggest taking a look at the “Arts & Crafts” section on Craigslist. It makes one laugh with glee over bad art for sale and weird crafting kits that should perhaps be tossed into the garbage or offered to a neighbor kid instead being advertised for $4. Is it just me (of course it is!) or would it seem very excessive to drive to the suburbs to retrieve a sock puppet kit for $4? Sock puppet… kit? Sock… Puppet… Kit. What have we come to?

Continue reading Arts + Crafts = Cheap Laffs

The Wednesday Outlook, May 27th

Another Wednesday rolls around…

Item! There is a little shoe repair place in the basement of Macy’s in downtown Minneapolis. I know because I was sent there when the sandals I bought there broke on their second wearing. A little rivet came flying out, causing the gladitor-like straps to go wonky. Sigh.

Continue reading The Wednesday Outlook, May 27th

The Wednesday Outlook, May 20th

Big doings over the weekend as The K and I celebrated 6 years of marriage. Well, not such tremendous doings but we marked the day in a way that was special for us. Last year, for our 5th anniversary, we went out to California and had a lot of fun – we saw a blue whale, we traveled by boat through “pod” of dolphins that numbered in the thousands, we hiked, we went to wineries, we saw Tommy the Clown and watched him teach a master dance class.

This year we loaded up the hound and went to Lake Maria State Park, which is a beautiful place to go hiking because it has “Big Woods” and many ponds plus Lake Maria (with some docks that are great for dogs). Maybe it’s because spring has been crappy but being outside that day was the one thing I really wanted. It was warm, breezy and sunny.

Continue reading The Wednesday Outlook, May 20th

The Wednesday Outlook, May 13th

It’s been a strange week in the world of work for me. Resignations, heated e-mail exchanges, accusations, etc. Thankfully, none of this directly involved me. I am but a bystander to the action and I have to admit that it’s good to be the (confused) onlooker. When I’m directly involved in exchanges of this nature, I don’t sleep for days. As I was heading in to the building this morning to see what new, indignant e-mails had cropped up overnight (four new ones!), the piped in music in the hallway was “Kokomo” by the Beach Boys. There is something hilarious about this song set in direct contrast to extreme disharmony.

Continue reading The Wednesday Outlook, May 13th

Resolved: Celebrity Hunger Strikes Don’t Accomplish Much

At the end of April, actress Mia Farrow embarked upon a hunger strike in order to call attention to continuing troubles in the Darfur region of Sudan. She pledged to fast for three weeks, only drinking water, to draw media attention to the plight of refugees in Darfur, where welfare agencies have been exiled and essentially barred from helping to care for and feed the refugees. She chronicled the experience through videos posted to YouTube. In one she says, “Of course, I don’t expect that me on a hunger strike is going to do that much. But if it provides a news hook for newspapers so they can talk about what’s really important, then that will be worth it.”

Continue reading Resolved: Celebrity Hunger Strikes Don’t Accomplish Much

A Grand (?) Finale: Who Will Start the Bidding?

This season of Real Housewives NY culminated in Jill’s charity “function,” which we’ve been hearing about every episode.

First, let me say how shocked I was by their low ticket sales five days out from the event. They hadn’t even broken even yet. Actually, this is comforting since it’s the same way a gala event I had to plan this year went, although we had at least broken even on ticket sales prior to the event. I just figured that, with all the fab people they claim to know, they would have had many more than 170 people.

And, as often happens on committees, some members did next to nothing and some got really pissy about how things should be done. Alex, for example, hadn’t even invited anyone as of the final committee meeting. Her excuse: I was busy. Too busy to send out an e-mail or ask four or six friends to go? Yes, this happens all the time. I bet anything that she could have told them exactly what dress she was planning on wearing but somehow inviting guests had slipped her mind. Later, she made a point during her “camera talk” time to say that she and Simon had called some people and got a few to go. Yeah, right.

Continue reading A Grand (?) Finale: Who Will Start the Bidding?

The Wednesday Outlook, May 6th

It’s official. I can’t stand the word “eponymous.” If I hear it used one more time in reference to an album, particularly on hipster radio, I’m going to implode. Yeah, we get it, but can’t you just say “self-titled?” My favorite example is on Wikipedia: Bad Company‘s first album Bad Company released in 1974 is another example that also contained a track that was a Rock Radio favorite of the same name, “Bad Company“. “Rock Radio” is capitalized on Wiki; I didn’t do it. Did “Rock Radio” become a proper noun? I guess R.E.M. still has the final word on this very pretentious word with their album Eponymous from 1988.

Continue reading The Wednesday Outlook, May 6th

Dare To Be Average

Lorna Martin, the author of the memoir Girl on the Couch, had a reasonably “good” life. She worked as a writer for the Observor. She had a loving family and a group of girlfriends. But when she found herself involved in a love triangle that was threatening to become a love square, she decided to begin psychotherapy in order to get down to the bottom of things.

While I tend to think we are just about one block away from the end of Memoir Street, another one always pops up that catches my eye. I wonder, “Is there anything new to tell?” And in this case in particular, “Is there anything new to tell us about therapy?” As mentioned before, this is not a book about what we would refer to as “mental illness” but more about the feeling and position in life of being blocked. Or maybe it could be better described as feeling as if you are forever waking up in the middle of the woods with no idea how you got there and even less of an idea about how to get out. It’s confusion wrapped up with lack of perspective, ingrained habits, runaway emotions and bad memories. And yes, it’s very real, even if it lacks a name like manic depression (perhaps Martin defines it best through the use of the term “normal neurotic”).

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Of Jibs and Owls and Dolphins

OK, this week we’ve got more trouble for Chrysler, the swine flu, Justice Souter announcing his retirement and yet I spend my time wondering why Kelly and Bethenny on Real Housewives of New York keep trying to talk things out and get along.

Look, sometimes, for whatever reason, two people just don’t like the cut of each others jibs and that’s that.  I know I’ve experienced it many times – both ways, meaning, that plenty of people don’t like my jib and I don’t care for the jibs of some others. (What is a jib? It is a type of sail on a ship and the expression may go back to pirate times, old-timey pirates, not the Pirates 2.0 we’re dealing with now. Essentially the expression means, “I don’t like your face.”)

Continue reading Of Jibs and Owls and Dolphins

The Wednesday Outlook, April 29

If you can make it to Wednesday evening, the very summit of the work week, it’s all downhill from there. It’s a coast to the weekend. It’s time to say, “OK, this week is pretty much shot, what have I learned, discovered, thought, seen, etc?” Here’s my round-up:

Continue reading The Wednesday Outlook, April 29

Voltage: Fashion Amplified & Feet Tenderized

I suspected, going into Friday night’s Voltage: Fashion Amplified show at First Avenue, that I was wearing the wrong shoes. I’m the Mistress of Flats, not the Mistress of Peek-Toe Patent Leather Heels. But flats didn’t cut it with a short black skirt and a vintage wool tank top covered in beads and sequins. Besides, the heels elevated me above the crowd, allowing me to see the runway from the floor, not as easy thing to do when the place is packed.

My friend Ellen, always my Comrade in Arms when it comes to 1) shopping 2) fashion and 3) making fun of things, looked very pretty indeed in similarly high heels (not patent leather though) and a black, sleeveless dress. She also had on thigh-high nylons, which she announced she wasn’t pleased with as soon as she got in the car and proceeded to strip off.

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Forget The Beef. Where’s the Glamor?

I know I’ve said it before in various ways, but the Housewives of New York are really just teaching us one thing over and over again: that everyone’s life is mundane in its own way. It was driven home to me again on the latest episode about Halloween when everyone was in a tizzy about the parties coming up that week and then, once they were at the parties, it seemed to be about standing around together to drink and eat or to drink and complain. I can’t imagine why they were so excited. It seemed like much more work than it was worth. Where’s the glamor? The glitz? The spice? The tits?

Continue reading Forget The Beef. Where’s the Glamor?

The Perfect Date: Spargelfest & Taking The Air

Two friends of mine have commented, at different times and unbeknownst to each other, that I’m pretty much an old lady. Why? I guess because I prefer to stay home, pretty much, and I go to bed early. And I drink a lot of tea. And I use words like “unbeknownst” and say things to myself like, “I’m having a devil of a time threading this needle!”

But the Black Forest Inn in Minneapolis is having a celebration from May 22-31st that all dorky “old ladies” of German heritage like me (and I suppose people who refer to themselves as “foodies”), will coo over: Spargelfest! What is it? Why, it’s a celebration of that most old lady of vegetables, asparagus. One eats many asparagus-laden dishes and then perhaps “takes the air” on Nicollet Avenue. A promenade, if you will, down a street filled with “boom cars” that need to be tsk-tsk’d.

Continue reading The Perfect Date: Spargelfest & Taking The Air

Not Dressed to Impress

Did I sound bitter in my last post? I can’t decide.

On Friday night, I was invited to attend a Hmong International Filmmakers Organization party in Brooklyn Park. I wasn’t sure what it entailed, exactly, because the call came on Thursday morning inviting us but there were some communication issues. What I understood from my conversation with an organization member was that the party was the next day and that they were pretty excited to have me attend (why the short notice, I never figured out). I received an e-mail with the address and an agenda for the evening. I noted that I was added as an agenda item (I was to be introduced at 8:53 p.m.)

Continue reading Not Dressed to Impress

Me, Me, Me, Me, Me, Me, Me & Me

I come across a lot of terrible writing through my job. One e-mail “letter” that I read recently has been bugging me a lot, not just because it’s so awful in terms of grammar and punctuation but because it’s just plain stupid and drives home the fact that, often, when you want something, you mostly need to be coherent and kind to the person you’re asking. I think about this in terms of this letter (we’ll get back to the letter in a minute) but it applies to all kinds of situations.

Continue reading Me, Me, Me, Me, Me, Me, Me & Me

Um… Housewives? We Need to Talk.

width=Housewives, you’re letting me down. Well, except for Countess LuAnn. LuAnn never lets me down. But the rest of you… You’re really boring.

The last episode I watched involved the unveiling of Jill’s new decor in her condo, which is pretty/ugly and not comfy-looking at all. The dining room looks OK; the rest looks like a boutique hotel and I don’t mean that in a good way. It looks like the lobby of a W Hotel – its not exactly the place you want to curl up and watch a movie or talk on the phone while in your PJs. And the kitchen! I know New York apartments and condos are small but that kitchen is fit for a boat.

Continue reading Um… Housewives? We Need to Talk.

Grey Gardens Odds-n-Ends

Check out this post on the blog Jezebel that shows all the fashion that’s going to be in the HBO Grey Gardens movie on Saturday, April 18th. Yes, the movie stars Drew Barrymore as my beloved Little Edie and I’m not really OK with that but the fashion in this movie is absolutely outstanding. They went to great lengths to find the best revolutionary costumes.

Continue reading Grey Gardens Odds-n-Ends

Unfortunately, It Happens Every Day…

When I read about the new memoir Happens Every Day: An All Too-True Story, I knew I would read it as soon as I could get it from the library. I picked it up on Wednesday evening and finished it Thursday night. The reviews I’ve since read on Amazon all say about the same: “I couldn’t stop reading this book,” “This is a page-turner,” etc.

And it’s true – I wanted to get to the end of the book so I could find out what happens. If someone is spilling a good story, I stick around until the end. But now that I’ve reached the end, there are more questions than anything close to an answer.

Continue reading Unfortunately, It Happens Every Day…

I’m Not Upset, I’m Eating My Salad!

You guys will never believe what happened on the next episode of Real Housewives of New York. Another lunch! Salads were consumed! Women were miffed!

Here is my version of the luncheon conversation between Countess LuAnn and Bethenny:

LuAnn approaches table in usual headscarf and big sunglasses.

LuAnn: Thanks for inviting me to lunch!

Bethenny: Don’t be too excited. I’m really pissed at you.

LuAnn: At moi? Porquoi? (translation: At me? Why?)

Continue reading I’m Not Upset, I’m Eating My Salad!

The “Reality” of Bored, Rich Housewives

OK, so I just discovered The Real Housewives of… franchise on BRAVO. What can I say, I don’t have cable. I can hear the horrified intake of collective breath. No cable! But that’s another story.

Here’s what I, after viewing three episodes from the current New York season, take away from it. It’s a very thin line between ridiculous and boring. The truth is, there is absolutely nothing happening. It must be a feat of endurance for the editors to go through hours of footage to cobble together enough material for episodes when this is what you have to work with: tennis, horse riding, dull-as-dirt lunches, charity parties and verbal sniping of the caliber I experienced in my very Midwestern, middle-class high school. And yet, I keep watching, hoping, waiting…

Continue reading The “Reality” of Bored, Rich Housewives

That’s The Revolutionary Costume For Today

I’ve been intensely studying the Bouvier Beales lately to prepare for reviewing the Ordway’s staging of Grey Gardens, the musical, for TC Daily Planet.

My review and a short essay about why I love Little Edie Beale are now posted on the Daily Planet’s site for your reading pleasure.

In my quest for more knowledge of the Beales, I got a book called My Life at Grey Gardens: Thirteen Months and Beyond written by Lois Wright. Lois was a painter and palm-reader who had known the Bouvier Beales for a long time and actually lived at Grey Gardens while the Maysles Brothers were filming the documentary in 1973 (not sure on exact year but that’s about right – the film came out in 1975).

Continue reading That’s The Revolutionary Costume For Today

Web 2.0 + Sadomasochism = Head Trip

A couple Fridays ago, I went to a day conference about using “Web 2.0” and “social networking” for nonprofits. I went to sessions about using social media to enhance marketing, improve relationships and visibility with journalists and how to make your website come up higher on search engines.

Yes, a truly wild and crazy time was had by all.

Continue reading Web 2.0 + Sadomasochism = Head Trip

Ripitude Adjustment

The third workout, Resistance, went by like a dream.

Then I was struck with a bit of a cold. Just enough to make even contemplating another round of cardio (next up on the rotation) painful.

But today it was time to bell up or shut up. I insisted on repeating Cardio Workout Week 1 again because I felt that I hadn’t “mastered” it. The truth is that I’m scared of what Week 2 will entail. At least this way I knew what was coming even if I didn’t like it.

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Vicky, Cristina & Some Narrator In Barcelona

Of course I’m behind the times and just managed to see Vicky Cristina Barcelona last weekend. I enjoyed it quite a bit but I’m a Woody Allen fan. It seems to be true that you either love Woody Allen or despise him. I was quite riveted throughout the film, really enjoying myself, and it wasn’t until I went to bed that certain things about the screenplay started occurring to me.

Continue reading Vicky, Cristina & Some Narrator In Barcelona

CORE!

I admit to being scared last night before the Great Core Workout of 09. First there was the fact that I am still having trouble sitting and walking after the cardio workout. Next there is the Mystery Foot Problem. Some mysterious hurt has been angering my left foot for over a week. But you don’t want to read about that.

You want to read about CORE!

Continue reading CORE!

Ripitude Devolves Into Suckitude

Workout Number One.

What a joke.

Before our first workout, Cardio Week 1 (the Six Week Transformation takes you through 3 DVDs that you rotate continually: Cardio, Core, Resistance), on Saturday, we were all laughs and smiles. “Ripitude!” “Let’s do this!” Halfway through I felt as if I was in the middle of a nightmare about a boot camp. Before the workout, I was worried that we wouldn’t get enough out of just one session per workout. Perhaps we’d want to do two sessions per day. After all, a session is only 20 minutes.

Continue reading Ripitude Devolves Into Suckitude

From Here On Out, It’s All About Ripitude

Last Saturday morning I woke up and plopped myself on the couch to watch KARE-11’s Saturday morning “news” show. I tune in so I can complain loudly about the parade of paid-advertisements they have on in the guise of “guests.” Horribly drawn books for children. People shilling products that are really their at-home craft projects. And then there’s the constant stream of local restaurants and grocery stores telling us what to make for every occasion. Never before in my life have I ever ordered anything from TV or, to my knowledge, something featured on a TV show. The only regret I have is not ordering Freedom Rock back in the day. Continue reading From Here On Out, It’s All About Ripitude

Money’s Too Tight To Mention – Kitchen Edition

Quite frequently, if I have on The Today Show as I’m floating around the house pretending to get ready for work, there’s a “consumer alert” story about how food prices are going up but the food manufacturers are actually giving us less. This is supposed to horrify us and perhaps instigate a letter-writing campaign. Yes, it’s probably not very cool of them, but most of these items seem to be the stuff we need less of anyway. Which is a nice segueway into the purpose of this post:

Some things you might do to save money in the food/kitchen department.

Continue reading Money’s Too Tight To Mention – Kitchen Edition

Money’s Too Tight To Mention – Russia Edition

In these hard economic times, with snow coming down outside my window, my thoughts turn to Russia. Minneapolis can’t be that different in climate from Moscow, can it? But the people of Russia have surely endured harder times than we have. What with a history of pogroms, famine, purges and Communism, perhaps we could learn a thing or two about how to get by from studying Russian survival tactics during the late-19th to roughly mid- 20th century.

Continue reading Money’s Too Tight To Mention – Russia Edition

Money’s Too Tight To Mention: Entertainment Edition

Know what’s been on my mind lately? Money. Minnesota has a 5 kabillion dollar deficit and I work for an organization that gets most of its money from the state (although not all so maybe we’re better off than some will be). My strategy is to try to squirrel some money away in a coffee can and hope for the best, which means cutting corners.

Many might be in the same gun boat right now, so I’m launching a series on money-saving tips. First, we visit Entertainment.

Continue reading Money’s Too Tight To Mention: Entertainment Edition

The Milkman’s On His Way

This past weekend I watched Gold Diggers of 1935, directed by Busby Berkeley. The plot is banal: a rich family arrives at a resort and a bunch of people are after their money. The daughter of the family (already an adult but not married so, you know, she can’t live on her own) is engaged to a complete idiot with a lot of money whose hobby is collecting and writing about snuff boxes. She doesn’t want to marry him; she wants to have fun. She convinces her mother that she should have one last summer of merriment before her wedding in the fall.

Continue reading The Milkman’s On His Way

All I Want For Christmas

I don’t know where I’ve been lately, just certainly not posting anything. Oops.

If I could afford just any old doodad, trinket, pretty thing for Christmas, I would buy this, the coolest bracelet/cuff every made… to help me enhance my Kiss of the Spider Woman image. But for just about $600, I think I might have to forgo it and maybe get Hollywood Dominos instead.

Although, if you’ve ever played Mexican Train (don’t ask me how it got that name) it’s basically the same thing.

But once Charlize Theron and Salma Hayek start getting involved, things have a way of getting out of control.

Funny How That Works

Weird things I think before making certain purchases:

Before buying any shoes (accept athletic shoes) “But can I go dancing in these?” Number of times I dance per year: maybe seven? Five.

Before buying any underwear: “If I get in an accident, will it be weird if I’m wearing these (blank) underwear and they have to cut them off me?” Fill in the blank with any number of adjectives: striped, polka-dotted, Oscar the Grouch, kind-of-high-waisted-but-comfortable

Continue reading Funny How That Works

B Squad Goes From “C” to “B+”

The vintage store B Squad in Minneapolis used to be in a depressing little space on 38th Street just off Nicollet. I went there once, tried to sort through a rack of t-shirts that were smashed together on a rack, thought about buying some sew-on patches and then didn’t because they were unmarked and I was told that they were probably $3 each. I thought $3 for a patch was ludicrous at the time. The entire store felt as if if was pressing in on you with its little bowls and buckets and boxes of stuff. It just wasn’t for me.

B Squad recently moved into a new space on Nicollet Ave at 35th Street, right on the corner. The space is a lot bigger, giving B Squad’s merchandise room to breathe and its customers room to move.

Continue reading B Squad Goes From “C” to “B+”

Highlights From Found Footage

The Found Footage Festival rolled into Columbia Heights last night, with two shows at The Heights Theater. Of course, it’s a laugh-a-minute program, but it also leaves some indelible impressions and lingering questions.

1. Why would anyone confuse mucus with fat? Better yet, why would anyone be so determined to expel mucus/fat every morning, save it, measure it, dry it out and sometimes burn it with a blowtorch? You tell me. I saw the footage (from a cable access program) and I’m dumbfounded. In case you’re interested, this isn’t something you can do without the aid of grape juice put into a spray bottle and sprayed into the mouth. Really gets that mucus worked up so you can spit it out into a strainer.

Continue reading Highlights From Found Footage

The Eight Clown Commandments

1. I will keep my acts, performance and behavior in good taste while I am in costume and makeup. I will remember at all times that I have been accepted as a member of the clown club only to provide others, principally children, with clean clown comedy entertainment. I will remember that a good clown entertains others by making fun of himself or herself and not at the expense or embarrassment of others.

This seems like several commandments rolled into one, doesn’t it? I think perhaps the clowns had to pare down their number of commandments so that they didn’t have ten or more. If God can keep the rules down to ten, summed up so nicely, it would seem a bit presumptuous to have ten or more commandments just for clowns.

So I’ll break it down. Commandment 1: Don’t be a clown pervert.

Continue reading The Eight Clown Commandments

Halloween Costume Free Association

I have no Halloween costume. This always happens.

What can I be? A free association of ideas…

An apple that is not organic. The horror! Gwyneth Paltrow’s daughter, Apple. Emeril, the chef. The Iron Chef. Riboflavin because it could look however I wanted. No one knows what riboflavin looks like. Something fibrous. A germ. A flu bug, although that’s what they did in grade school health, didn’t they? Have some teacher dress up as a flu bug and give you a talk about germs, in character? My high school art teacher, the manic depressive with a thing for corduroy and over-achievers. A pheasant. No one is ever a pheasant and why not? When will pheasants get their turn in the spotlight like penguins have? Like lions? An alcoholic lion. Pennywise from Stephen King’s IT. He’s been on my mind lately. Shit, why did I have to think about Pennywise?

Continue reading Halloween Costume Free Association

Leni-n-Me

I recently reviewed a play called Amazons and Their Men for TC Daily Planet. You can check out the “official review” here.

After seeing the play, I immediately watched The Horrible/Wonderful Life of Leni Reifenstahl (see my 50 Word review, which hardly does the film justice) and became both enamored and repelled.

Continue reading Leni-n-Me

50 Word Review: His Girl Friday (1940)

Rapid fire. Every male sentence begins, “Listen, sweetheart…” Every female sentence begins with, “Listen here, you…” Hildy wanted to escape journalism, get married and become normal. She was talented, smart and wore little hats perched on her head. Should have stayed divorced but kept working. Walter Burns, you’re a cad.

Hey, You Finally Made It! It’s Jack!

Over on MN Dialog, I posted about my Friday night trip to the new Theatres at Mall of America. You can read the full post here.

One thing I neglected to say is that the Jack Nicholson impersonator had the shakes. I don’t think from drinking; I think from age. It was a little disconcerting when he put his arm around me for our picture, which didn’t make it onto the Metromix website.

Continue reading Hey, You Finally Made It! It’s Jack!

Take Me Down to The Party City

The folks at Party City weren’t kidding around when they named their business. This is a City that’s about the Party. Did you come here to Party? In the City? Cuz we built this city on Rock and Roll…

Their Halloween costumes mean some serious party business, too. If you are a gal, don’t think you’re going to find much that will conceal the lower third of your ass. If you’re a dude, I hope you look good in fangs and a smoking jacket.

Continue reading Take Me Down to The Party City

50 Word Review: Body Of Lies

Perhaps the Lies refer to the Body of this script. Is it fair, Russell Crow, to get so much money for doing so very little? Explosions, smashing of fingers, deals, a hoax, Middle Eastern music. As much sense as a bad dream after eating too much at the Chinese buffet.

The Best Rummage Money Can Buy

I’ve been Rummage Crazy. I cleaned out my entire basement and now it seems I’m eager to fill it back up with more stuff. Here’s a review of the rounds I’ve made recently:

Incarnation Church, 38th and Pleasant in Minneapolis – I anticipate church rummage sales like Christmas morning. My theory is this – people hold on to their “best” rummage for the church sale because they want to do a good deed. Their stuff will bring in money for the church, thus dealing with any of their Catholic guilt over not putting as much in the collection basket as they could have during the year. This sale was part of the church’s annual Oktoberfest Celebration. When I went to the sale, they were readying a pork dinner for the evening. Nothing says rummage like the smell of pork in a church basement.

Continue reading The Best Rummage Money Can Buy

Where Did I Go Wrong with My Chiffon? Part II

Betty Crocker likes Calendar Cakes. As in, go check the calendar, surely there must be some reason to decorate a cake coming up. It’s Fall? How about a fall leaves cake? A Columbus Day cake? Halloween cupcakes?

Those are all lay-ups. Bet you didn’t think about making one for homecoming (so what if you last graduated from somewhere 13 years ago?), a Pumpkin Cake, a Harvest Cake or a Festive Cranberry Cake. Now let’s go for the deep cuts: an Autumn Chrysanthemum Cake (bonus: the chrysanthemum is made from carefully sliced orange gumdrops!) or a nice Steamed Orange Pudding?

Continue reading Where Did I Go Wrong with My Chiffon? Part II

Who Makes the Gypsy Smile?

I had my first trip to the opera on Tuesday night. The Minnesota Opera is staging Il travatore (The Troubador) and TC Daily Planet was nice enough to ask me to go and review it.

Check out my opera musings here.

The truth is that I was a bit blown away by the whole thing. The Ordway was packed and people were extremely into it… yelling “BRAVO!” with gusto…

I think I will go again. The Barber of Seville is coming up soon – could this be the beginning of opera geekdom for me?

It’s Coming! It’s Coming!

Oh Grey Gardens, how I love thee! The Broadway musical is finally coming to St. Paul – the Ordway Center for Performing Arts, March through May of 2009!

Anyone who is up for a trip to see it (tickets might be expensive so prepare to shell out), I will have a Grey Gardens party the day of our trip to the show! Do people go to this in costume? Like Rocky Horror Picture Show?

I think at one point I may have been down on this production but now that’s it’s coming I am jazzed.

If I Had an Online Store…

I would want it to be called something like Stars and Infinite Darkness. Click your way over to a super cool site featuring work by independent clothing and jewelry designers. There is an inordinate amount of jewelry you would actually wear for years and years.

These kinds of sites are popping up all over but the recipe for a good one is to have many different ways of viewing the merchandise (by designer, by product, by what’s new, by what’s on sale) and having kick ass stuff at various prices. Stars actually has an option in Women’s clothing where you can select what you want to view by price, which is handy if you know you want to spend under $50 on a t-shirt. It also helps a site like this to have just the right amount of merch. I quickly become overwhelmed by choice on sites like Etsy (which I also enjoy and see the value in but just don’t visit that often) so I appreciate a site where some editing is going on.

50 Word Review: Sleepaway Camp

A gender-bending horror film from 1983 with no budget. They spent the money they had on an old summer camp location, some make-up effects and probably craft services. It manages to be hilarious all the way through and then get creepy for the final scene. Angela, take a chill pill!