Now that we’ve all been in the social media game for awhile, it’s becoming evident that there are some “Dont’s” involved. Lately, some Facebook and Twitter profile photos have been standing out as some serious Dont’s for me so I decided to catalog them:
1. The Shadow Face
Perfectly fine if your name is Shadow Face and you are an enemy of Batman’s. Otherwise, no.
2. Look Into My Eyes
Seems like you have something to hide. Either you gained a lot of weight since high school or you were disfigured in a helicopter crash.
Are you familiar with the “Special K Challenge,” brought to us by Special K cereal? Maybe you’ve seen the TV commercials in which a pretty normal looking woman starts eating cereal all the time and then turns into what might best be described as a “lady of the night?” Meaning, she goes from wearing jeans and a blouse to a red dress and garish make-up while twirling around her kitchen waiting for her 9 p.m. “appointment” to show up.
I’ve been aware of the “Challenge” for awhile. It’s one of those things that flies by me in my media-soaked days – Christine O’Donnell is a witch, TheSocial Network was number one at the box office, Special K Challenge.
But then I saw a magazine ad that actually laid out what one is supposed to do on the Challenge.
The first page says, “Jeans don’t lie. The best way to tell how great you look is in your jeans. Drop a jean size in 2 weeks. Take the Special K Challenge.”
Back from NYC, a whirlwind tour of Manhattan by subway and foot. There would have been a ferry involved as well if the wait to get on it had not been an hour and a half.
Now back in the Midwest, I bring stories to my Midwestern brethren. Stories about jeggings (and leggings) and buses called jitneys. And lots of things lying on curbs and clothes, glorious clothes, and people who are not at all well in the head.
But first, jeggings.
I never took this trend seriously. Jeggings? Leggings made to look like jeans only tight, tight like leggings with no real zipper or buttons but perhaps the imitation of them, plus seams, drawn onto the fabric? Yes.
If I were, say, Great Britain during the time when GB controlled India, jeggings would be Ghandi. Someone, something, that I didn’t take very seriously at first and then… and then… oh, shit. Something like that.
And, yeah, probably the new black as well. Although that’s such a tired joke.
Minimalism is where it’s at today. It’s more than a trend, it’s a lifestyle.
Let’s start with fashion. Not just paired-down style but a paired-down wardrobe. There are all kinds of sites online extolling the virtues of making due with less. In these uncertain times, etc.
Last year, Sheena Matheiken launched The Uniform Project, in which she wore seven identical black dresses every day of the week for a year and did a hell of a lot of accessorizing. However, the accessories were all vintage, thrifted, donated items so she wasn’t out shopping for new stuff. She also raised money for children living in Indian slums by putting aside a dollar each day and asking blog visitors for donations. Now through with her year, the Uniform Project has moved on to some other “pilot projects” of what seems to be other women taking the challenge.
Some phrases and words that bother me a great deal…
Event listing descriptions that begin “Get thee to XXX tonight…” Yeah, I don’t know why this is common enough that I’ve noticed it. Drives me mad. Like, ha ha, I’m funny and Olde English and I’m doing a take-off on the line, “Get thee to a nunnery!” Which might have been effective once but not 234 times. Get thee to the Jagged Edge Bar tonight for the wet t-shirt contest. Get thee to the feminist spoken word slam. I just received an event announcement via email with one of the listings beginning, “Get thee to Uptown this frigid January eve for a hot, hot set by melodic indie supergroup, Communist Daughter.” Get thee to Uptown? Snort. And get thee to Uptown on this frigid night? No fucking way, anyway. I’m not even going to touch “melodic indie supergroup.” OK, yeah I am. Indie or supergroup… which is it? Supergroup makes me think of Boston or Air Supply. Or… Aerosmith. Communist Daughter… not so much.
Mark my words: 2010 is going to see the revival of Ziggy. Hipsters everywhere are going to begin donning Ziggy t-shirts, mailing each other Ziggy cards, drinking lattes from Ziggy mugs. It’s enough to make me want to run out and start raiding the thrift stores right now!
I don’t usually feel very comfortable talking about my truly personal life on Not Shallow. Usually that’s because my personal life just isn’t that complicated or even interesting except to me and those directly involved in it. I don’t want to bore my 30 regular readers to tears. But this may help other people, so here goes.
I recently bought Betty Crocker’s Cake and Frosting Mix Cookbook from 1966. This was a time when cakes from a mix were still considered a big deal – although mixes had been on the market for awhile, Betty Crocker believed women might need some coaching in order to get the most out of them. Because mixes are complicated.
We said good-bye to our cat, Ella, last Thursday. Ella, also known as Big Brown, E the C, Ella Bella and Big Michigan, is missed greatly. Her presence and willfulness just took up so much room at our house that it now feels empty. My catharsis in the last couple of days has been shopping. Not retail but antique malls and garage sales.