Category Archives: People

Testing… Testing… 1, 2, 3…

A drawing of comedian Phyllis Diller, 1917 to 2012.

A few weeks ago, Phyllis Diller died. One thing I always loved about Phyllis, besides that hair and the crazy laugh, was that she didn’t start her stand-up career until she was 37. Since she lived to be 95, that means she enjoyed a 58-year career in comedy.

We hear a lot about young people making it big. There are all kinds of lists honoring “30 Under 30” or “40 Under 40.”

What about the late bloomers?

Recently, I decided I want to draw more despite the fact that I don’t draw well. But I like to do it.

The thing I’m good at is observing the world. I’ve been doing it since I was a kid. Once, at a nature program when all the other kids were playing a prey/predator game, I hung back and watched, not wanting to take part. A man on the sidelines said to me, “It’s OK, the world needs doers and it needs watchers.”

I see now that he’s right. At the time I thought it meant that I was deficient somehow. I longed to be a doer. But I’m a watcher. I observe human nature. I notice when someone paints the shutters on their house. It makes me a better writer. I hear what people are saying. And maybe, just maybe, it will make me a better drawer.

Not Shallow has taken a couple different formats over the years and now it becomes a respository for my drawings and accompanying observations. I know I have at least 5 fans, because they’ve told me they like the site and, when I took a break, asked me when it was coming back. I hope that those 5 fans will join me by checking in every so often and sharing it with some more people.

Here’s to all the late bloomers.

The Wedding

Here’s a t-shirt you’ll find in thrift stores around Rhinebeck, New York in the coming years:

chelsea clinton t-shirt

I’m pro-Chelsea Clinton. So I was saddened upon learning that among the biggest “celebs” at her wedding were Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen. Really? Ted Danson? From The Huffington Post, “Reporters, who had been searching for celebrities in vain for most of the day, quickly zeroed in on the couple, prompting Danson to ask, ‘Are we the only celebrities in town?'”

Well, no. I mean, Vera Wang was there. Also Steve Bing, who’s not a celeb but more of a rich guy who knocked up Elizabeth Hurley and then denied paternity until it was proven with a test… never mind that the kid looked exactly like him.

I guess the cool thing about Chelsea is that she probably didn’t really give a damn about celebs at her wedding.

Going Off To That Big Canadian Pavilion In The Sky

corey-haimI know that you’ve been losing sleep over what’s happening with the film American Sunset, so I thought I’d tell you about this press release announcing that it’s going to showcase at Cannes.

Wait. What? You’ve never heard of American Sunset?

Seriously? Corey Haim’s final attempt to act?

Yes, I’m talking about Corey Haim and Cannes at the same time. But back to that in a minute.

Continue reading Going Off To That Big Canadian Pavilion In The Sky

It’s Raining Well-Rounded Men

wrestlingSo there’s an interesting contest going on in Minneapolis right now called One Man Minneapolis. Basically, if I’ve got it down right, they are going to crown one man from Minneapolis/St. Paul “The One.” The one man who best represents “COMMUNITY INVOLVEMENT, PERSONALITY, INTELLIGENCE, AND FITNESS.” [Shouting text not the author’s own.]

But like any beauty pageant for women, isn’t this stuff entirely subjective? Intelligence? Are we having them take tests? Submit SAT scores or IQ tests? Personality? Fitness… I guess this is a nicer way of saying “hotness?”

Continue reading It’s Raining Well-Rounded Men

The Hecker Timeline

Hecker Resized For BlogI’ve gotten interested in the trials and tribulations of former Twin Cities auto king Denny Hecker. By sifting through many media sites, I have compiled the following time line detailing the rise and fall of The Heck. This time line is a living thing… new information comes in daily and I’m sure there are also errors or improperly worded points. If you have some major Hecker news or corrections to add, please let me know via comments. I’ll be updating it as new info becomes available. Without further ado…

Laughing In The Face Of Fate:
The Denny Hecker Story

Denny Hecker is born in 1952 and raised in North Minneapolis.

1970: Hecker graduates from Patrick Henry High School in Minneapolis and marries his first wife, Judith Martin, the following fall. They stay married for less than two years. He does a brief stint in college and then drops out to sell cars at a local dealership. Cars, it seems, were his destiny.

1973: Hecker marries Sandra Storm (who may or may not be a comic book heroine). They remain married for ten years and have two daughters.

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Forget Original Gangsta! Gentleman’s Gentleman Is Where It’s At

louis-malleKeith and I were having a discussion yesterday about our dog, Freja, being “a dog’s dog.” What this means, we decided, is that she’s loved by dogs and humans alike just for her very unfussy, no-holds-barred “dogginess.” This stems from another ongoing discussion between us about being a “Gentleman’s Gentleman.” Just what is a Gentleman’s Gentleman? With kind regards to Mr. Grant Weeks (truly in the running to be a GG), here are some pointers Keith and I came up with.

1. Have a flask on your person as often as possible. The flask must be filled with good liquor, no rotgut. Whiskey is preferred but not required. A true Gentleman’s Gentleman would have an engraved flask, possibly with a picture of a bulldog.

Continue reading Forget Original Gangsta! Gentleman’s Gentleman Is Where It’s At

Conspiracy Theory: Was Mommie Dearest a Crock of Shit?

Mommie Dearest CoverConspiracy theories are usually aimed at assassinations, UFOs, religion, Bill Clinton, Richard Gere, etc.  We’ve all heard the JFK assassination theories. We’ve heard about how the U.S. never really landed on the moon – it all took place on a sound stage!

But have you heard the one about Mommie Dearest?

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The Way He Lived

dominick-dunneFailure, if you can get through it, is a great experience to have had.” – Dominick Dunne

Today I got the news that Dominick Dunne died at age 83. I had only recently, within the past year, discovered Dunne’s collected writing about high-society crime, although I’d read various pieces in Vanity Fair off and on for years. I became so intrigued by him that I bought his memoir The Way We Lived Then, which is narrative but also a collection of incredible photos from his years in Hollywood, when he was married to his wife, Lenny. He was a compulsive photo-taker and scrap-booker (not in the way people scrapbook now, with all the doodads and foo-foos and cut-outs), in addition to an avid party-giver, and the book  is a moving document of a bygone era when life, for Dunne, was easy and he was living in Shangri-La.

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Resolved: Celebrity Hunger Strikes Don’t Accomplish Much

At the end of April, actress Mia Farrow embarked upon a hunger strike in order to call attention to continuing troubles in the Darfur region of Sudan. She pledged to fast for three weeks, only drinking water, to draw media attention to the plight of refugees in Darfur, where welfare agencies have been exiled and essentially barred from helping to care for and feed the refugees. She chronicled the experience through videos posted to YouTube. In one she says, “Of course, I don’t expect that me on a hunger strike is going to do that much. But if it provides a news hook for newspapers so they can talk about what’s really important, then that will be worth it.”

Continue reading Resolved: Celebrity Hunger Strikes Don’t Accomplish Much

Um… Housewives? We Need to Talk.

width=Housewives, you’re letting me down. Well, except for Countess LuAnn. LuAnn never lets me down. But the rest of you… You’re really boring.

The last episode I watched involved the unveiling of Jill’s new decor in her condo, which is pretty/ugly and not comfy-looking at all. The dining room looks OK; the rest looks like a boutique hotel and I don’t mean that in a good way. It looks like the lobby of a W Hotel – its not exactly the place you want to curl up and watch a movie or talk on the phone while in your PJs. And the kitchen! I know New York apartments and condos are small but that kitchen is fit for a boat.

Continue reading Um… Housewives? We Need to Talk.