Check My Profile: Social Media Madness

Now that we’ve all been in the social media game for awhile, it’s becoming evident that there are some “Dont’s” involved. Lately, some Facebook and Twitter profile photos have been standing out as some serious Dont’s for me so I decided to catalog them:

1. The Shadow Face

face in shadow

Perfectly fine if your name is Shadow Face and you are an enemy of Batman’s. Otherwise, no.

2. Look Into My Eyes

eyes close up

Seems like you have something to hide. Either you gained a lot of weight since high school or you were disfigured in a helicopter crash.

3. Distorted

distorted face

Ditto number 2. Or you are trying to convey what it’s like inside your head.

4. Guess Who I Am!

party goers

It’s always off-putting when you get a friend request from someone and you’re not sure who they are… so you go to look at their photo and… uh… which one are they?

5. I’m Arty

blurry face

And unable to focus – literally and figuratively. Favorite gambit of pixies.

6. I Used To Be Hot

1970s woman

You know this woman and she’s 58 now but this persists as her Facebook photo month after month.

7. I’m Sexy.

facebook lingerie

I have a Facebook friend who continually posts photos kinda like this. I don’t know her very well and I don’t know her out of a certain context, so it’s always entertaining when a new provocative photo shows up. The latest is of her leaning against a tree in red lingerie.

8. Mad Men Yourself

madmen yourself

Really? I find that these photos are persisting way past their shelf life. This is so March 2010.

9. Glamour Shot

glamour shot

Anything that says, “I take my looks very seriously,” has got to go.

10. Bad iPhoto Pic You Took Yourself.

bad iphoto pic

Could you maybe, um, look at the camera?

11. Serious Corporate Shot


Likes to tweet about Potbelly sandwiches and football.

12. You And Your Special Friend Cavorting

boyfriend girlfriend


13. I’m So Lazy

twitter egg

Never bothering to change the default Twitter egg = lameness of great proportions.

14. You As a Mime

mime facebook

Or wait… is this really genius?