Arts + Crafts = Cheap Laffs

If you need a pick-me-up during the day, I suggest taking a look at the “Arts & Crafts” section on Craigslist. It makes one laugh with glee over bad art for sale and weird crafting kits that should perhaps be tossed into the garbage or offered to a neighbor kid instead being advertised for $4. Is it just me (of course it is!) or would it seem very excessive to drive to the suburbs to retrieve a sock puppet kit for $4? Sock puppet… kit? Sock… Puppet… Kit. What have we come to?

These posts might soon be gone (who knows when the art will be snapped up) so visit quickly:

An original print by Coco, straight from Hawaii, still in it’s cellophane! The selling point for this watercolor (?) of dolphin faces is that it’s by Coco from Hawaii and yet the buyer never opened it and never hung it up, cheapening the Coco currency, if you ask me. It looks as if it comes with a bio of Coco (let’s see… born in Cleveland to reticent parents, Catherine escaped at age 17 to LA where she lived on the street and met Ganjo, street artist and face painter. They moved to Hawaii in 1989 and Catherine was reborn as Coco. She learned to draw and paint in a dream one night when visited by smiling dolphins…) This print is from 1996 and the seller distinctly remembers that they paid $18 for it. You can have it for $10!

This Phantom of the Opera airbrush stencil (homemade in the 1980s) might be a candidate for the Best of Craigslist feature. It was made, according to the owner, to create a sweatshirt for a friend. I wonder if that friend was appreciative of all the effort it took to create this stencil? Now the seller suggests it might be used by a “gang of gay graffiti artists who want to tag the neighborhood professing their love for a dated and overhyped Andrew Lloyd Webber musical!”

I like the tone of this listing for a painting of a cat. Are there any awesome paintings of cats in the world, by the way? Every cat painting I’ve ever seen has kind of sucked. I enjoy the straightforward opener of, “I have a cat painting to sell” and then the admission that the seller doesn’t really want to get rid of it but has moved to a smaller place. The cat in the painting looks as sad as the seller seems.

I have no idea of what to make of this plaque or why one would sell it for $4. WTF? Although, one could turn around and sell it to a NY gallery as “outsider art.” The same people are peddling some crocheted hot pads they insist would really be a great gift. Their exact words are “ideal as a gift.” Oh, really? You mean, if you want someone to hate you? I’m imagining that these people are really feeling “these economic times.” And maybe they’ve been in their prefab with a jug of whiskey for a bit too long. Come out, come out, wherever you are! It’s spring!

There was no pic with this one (I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing) so I’ll just share the text:

i do tattoo’s for the best prices from25 to 60 bucks- ive got all new needles and disposible tubes and use the best inks around -but i dont have my own shop -so if interested in a quality tattoo give me a call names chad- ill come to you or you can come to me -ive also got all colors -and do the process just like the shops would do you so no worries dont use metal only throw away tubes so its always safe to get a tattoo with me ive done tons already so call thankz

Yes, Chad. I’ve been considering a tattoo. And rather than go to a shop, I’d like you to come to my house. Yes, I do live alone, why do you ask? Anyway, can you do a good Tweety Bird? But, I mean, a sexy Tweety? Maybe in chaps? You know what I like about you? You use all new needles and tubes and then you throw them away. Why don’t you come over on Friday night, we’ll order a pizza, have some beers, hash out some ideas and then you can give me a tattoo in my kitchen.

4 thoughts on “Arts + Crafts = Cheap Laffs

  1. Oh, come ON! I think one could make room for that cat painting if one really cared about it.

  2. while chad may be acceptable for your sexy tweety, i would have to recommend against any sort of script tattoo based solely on the lack of punctuation and grammar in that posting. sorry, chad.

  3. check out disturbing auctions….same type of weirdness, broken down into categories like “emotionally-scarring toys”.

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