I was in a public bathroom with three stalls. Two women come in and go into stalls on either side of me, continuing their conversation.
Woman 1: So… We know that she’s a bitch, right?
Woman 2: We know that she is not a nice person.
Woman 1: It’s such a shame. Rachel loves French but she treated her like the lazy twin.
[I’m not sure what this is in reference to… if Rachel is a twin and the less productive of the pair or if calling someone a Lazy Twin is a slur I’m not familiar with.]
Woman 2: How horrible.
Conversation interrupted by explosive farting from Woman 1, with no apologies or requests to be excused.
Woman 1: I’m mean, she’s a solid B student. Always gets B’s. I get the report card… (dramatic pause) and she gave her a C+. I called her up…
Woman 2: How unfair.
Woman 1: I called her up and I said, ‘What is the meaning of this?’ and she said, ‘Listen, middle school records don’t count toward college admissions and we’re done here.’
Woman 2: Oh my God!
Woman 1: I said, ‘We’re not done here.’
At this point I exited the bathroom, very uncomfortable. Part of me wishes I would have stayed, maybe got into the conversation. I, too, had a very bitchy French teacher. However, part of me thinks the true bitches were in that bathroom.
And, just for the record, middle school grades really don’t matter, unless those grades are F’s that make it impossible to progress beyond middle school. There is a reason for the phrase “Gentleman’s C.”
When I was awakened at 3 in the morning to let the dog out, because she was whiiii-iii-ning to go to the bathroom, it suddenly seemed very important, as I was standing at the back window watching Freja run around the yard trying to find an acceptable place to do her business, that I catalog the ways in which cats are fundamentally Republicans and dogs are fundamentally Democrats.
When my parents came for the yard sale last week, they had a van-load of stuff my sister and I had been storing at their house for years. And years. I believe they were overjoyed to be getting rid of it. We had a fairly successful sale, although we didn’t move as many toys as we would have liked. Now I’m left with some odds and ends that I’ve been trying to deal with. One box is just papers and letters and such from grade school onward. I haven’t seen the stuff in this box for 20 years so I’m going to assume I don’t need most of it.
While shopping online for an ottoman for my front porch, Google suggested I look at World Market. So I headed over to their website and was hit with this message:
Like many others in Minneapolis, I adore the public library. I have built a queue of books on my “Request” list that rivals that of my Netflix queue. Whenever I hear about a new book I want to read, I search for it on the library’s online catalog, accepting in advance that I will most likely have to add it to my list of requests.
In today’s episode, the drama is already ramping up with the usual “Rise of the Supergroup” problems.
One of the best TV movies Keith and I ever watched aired in 2001 on VH1 – Hysteria: The Def Leppard Story. Oh the ups and the downs! The tragedy and the triumphs! It turns out that you can rent the movie through Netflix but, maybe even better, you can watch it for free on YouTube in several installments.
Maybe some of you have already heard of the “social media trend/drinking game” known as Bros Icing Bros. I just heard about it this past weekend.
“It’s been a while since there’s been a show for the people who are actually watching TV most of the time, which is everybody between New York and LA,†said Patricia Heaton, who grew up in Ohio.
Last week I was wondering what my old friend Stephen Baldwin has been up to lately. I just don’t see him as much since he experienced his Second Birth. So it was synchronicity when my other friend who is not Stephen Baldwin shared 
I know that you’ve been losing sleep over what’s happening with the film American Sunset, so I thought I’d tell you about this press release announcing that it’s going to showcase at Cannes.
So there’s an interesting contest going on in Minneapolis right now called 
I’ve gotten interested in the trials and tribulations of former Twin Cities auto king Denny Hecker. By sifting through many media sites, I have compiled the following time line detailing the rise and fall of The Heck. This time line is a living thing… new information comes in daily and I’m sure there are also errors or improperly worded points. If you have some major Hecker news or corrections to add, please let me know via comments. I’ll be updating it as new info becomes available. Without further ado…
A few days ago, the song “Rag Doll” by Aerosmith came up in conversation. I don’t remember how, when or what the exact circumstances are. Maybe it was on the radio in the car. In just a few seconds, the complete awfulness of this song washed over me in a way it hadn’t since the song was popular in the late 80s.
Fifty-five miles north of Orlando is a “mature adult” alternative to Disney World called 
Bachelor Number 1 – Krampus (aka Krotchus)
Conspiracy theories are usually aimed at assassinations, UFOs, religion, Bill Clinton, Richard Gere, etc. We’ve all heard the JFK assassination theories. We’ve heard about how the U.S. never really landed on the moon – it all took place on a sound stage!
Somewhere along the line, I acquired a random copy of a Woman’s Day magazine from August 1977. Every so often I take it out and page through it. Although 1977 wasn’t THAT long ago, it’s like paging through a manual for another way of life. What I love most are the products, most of them long gone, the poor design and the absolute innocence of the copy. It was enough to say, “Emeraude. The liquid jewel no one can see, yet no one can ignore.” Would that work now? Probably not. Now we’d have something more along the lines of “Emeraude. The liquid that will get you laid.” Well, something like that.
Blogs and news sources are all a-flutter about Levi Johnston’s plan to appear nude in Playgirl Magazine… My initial reaction is, “He knows mostly gay men read that, right?” I mean, assuming anyone at all is still reading/looking at it (there were announcements in 2008 that Playgirl was going away; now it seems to be readying itself for online-only existence).
One thing to remember as you’re working on your Prep status, is that it’s a lifestyle, not just a fashion trend. It has to be incorporated into every facet of your life, including your reading material. According to the Handbook, some safe bets are books about Prep schools or classics assigned to be read in Prep schools, books about Preppies and books about the joys and miseries of being a Prep.
This is where things get complicated in the Prep lifestyle. If you’re serious about being a Prep, you’ve got to back up your rep with some serious cash, or at least the illusion of it. How do you create that illusion? Well, hopefully you don’t have to because you’ve got a trust fund. Barring that, you can cultivate an air of richness that you pair it with enough turtlenecks and an easygoing relationship with a credit card. Here are some do’s and don’t gleaned from the Handbook.
I found a Shoveler Duck Print with the added note of, “Finally an Upscale Duck Print!” Apparently a lot of people are selling down-market duck prints out there. Buyer beware and all that. The print is limited edition, signed and out-of-circulation. It can be mine for only $575. The seller says, “It was more than just another print of a handsome duck, it was a limited edition done by someone with an artistic flair not totally concerned with replicating the Shoveler like a photo, but as concerned with bringing the feeling of the wild with the picture in an artistic manner.”
Do you by any chance remember The Official Preppy Handbook? I do. I own a copy. It was published in 1980 (retailed in paperback for $3.95) and was probably ahead of the curve, getting out there before “preppy” officially became part of the lexicon and something of a punchline in the mid-to-late 80s. Essentially, it’s a humorous book, of course, but it also served as a kind of a road map for how to be prep, even if you weren’t born into the lifestyle and felt so inclined. The introduction states that, “Preppies don’t have to be rich, Caucasian, frequenters of Bermuda or ace tennis players.” The book has a certain something in common with today’s Gossip Girl and makes you think a bit more deeply about Gwyneth Paltrow, Izod and Ivy League schools.
