Things I Can’t Explain

If our dog, Freja, can’t make it all day without, uh, pooping (due to upset stomach) in the house she always poops in the bathroom right next to the toilet. So… I guess she understands what goes on in there? And I guess she’s doing her best to be considerate?

An older gentleman called our office and said, “Hi, I’m putting together a movie idea for Robert DeNiro. I don’t know him but I know he’s friends with that Scorsese guy but I don’t know that guy’s first name or how you spell his last name.” “Uh, that would be Martin S-c-o-r-s-e-s-e.” “Right! Thanks so much!”

A college-aged student sent a form letter to our office asking us to pay his way through college. For an extra bit of class, he hand-wrote the salutation because a mail merge proved to be too much for him to master. In the letter he did promise to keep us updated through the years with what he was up to.

People who refer to other people (usually younger than themselves) as “a Millennial.” Or “a Boomer.” People who believe that they have important insights into another person just because they know what generation that person happens to belong to.

The guy at my yard sale who would not pay $2 for a handmade pillow. Would only pay $1. I tried to ask why and I got a nonsensical answer about a friend who collects Asian items (pillow was made from old kimono thingy). I sold the pillow for $1 but I thought he was weird.

The smell of honeydew melon. Repellent.

Zsa Zsa Gabor + other Gabor sisters + Zsa Zsa’s weird husband, the Prinz

The popularity of the BoDeans in Minnesota and Wisconsin. Will we never tire of them? They play every festival, fair, benefit, etc.

People who begin sentences with “Us Jews…”

The fact that Susan Mallery, romance writer, has an entire series of books about Sheiks and the ladies who love them. The Sheik and the Virgin Bride, The Sheik and the Bought Bride, The Sheik’s Arranged Marriage, The Sheik’s Secret Bride, The Sheik’s Kidnapped Bride, The Sheik and The Bride Who Said No. But even better is a book title from another one of her series: Having Her Boss’s Baby. Uhm… ick?

How I really only enjoy Antiques Roadshow if I can talk trash about the people and their antiques.

That anyone would charge $700 for a haircut and that anyone else would pay it.

How much I want to make these cookies and EAT THEM.

Why I keep waking up at 5 in the morning to think about things like painting shelves, how Freja really needs to have her teeth brushed more often, what I should do next on my writing projects, etc.

Why I was so taken with a dirty, old dog toy I found on the sidewalk that I kept it to take photos of it in various settings. It’s an ice cream cone with a porcupine head and it squeaks.

Why I’m enjoying reading about Shirley Jackson’s life more than I really enjoyed reading her stories. The takeaway so far: she spent all her free time writing in order to get better, she was not popular at all in high school and she created her own little worlds/characters to help her get through life. Oh, and she saw ghosts and heard voices.