This Valentine’s Day, make sure you convey just the right message by selecting the correct color for roses:
RED = Hope you don’t have your period tonight. Alternately, you need all theÂ COURAGE you can muster to be with me
YELLOW = I am JEALOUS of you.Â Alternately, “You are a coward.”
LIGHT PINK = I’m sorry your life sucks so much.
DEEP PINK= I feel frisky. Alternately, do you want to get some Thai food?
LILAC = I saw you at the mall and I want to bone you.
WHITE = Think twice about joining that nunnery. Alternately, when I think about you, I think about a shotgun wedding.
PEACH =Â Do you love the 1980s as much as I do? Alternately, watch the amount of salt in your diet.
CORAL = You are a miserable DRUNK but I can’t stop loving you.
ORANGE = Let’s make lots of money. AKA “The Pet Shop Boys” rose.
And remember, it’s not just the color you send, it’s also the number:
1 Rose =Â I am cheap and the lady just came around the bar selling roses.
2 Roses = I will never let you talk to anyone but me.
3 Roses = I have a secret love child.
6 Roses = I do everything half-assed
7Â Roses = I’m going to stalk you.
9 Roses = I believe in elves, fairies and wood sprites.
10 Roses = I’m in love with Bo Derek.
11 Roses = One fell out and I stepped on it.
12 Roses = I’m normal
13 Roses = I believe in a baker’s dozen
21 Roses = Let’s do shots all night.
50 Roses = I have to tell you something and you’d better sit down.
99 Roses = 99 problems
100 Roses = I am a deposed dictator.
999 Roses = I built us a pyramid to live in.