Tag Archives: hot tub people

Hot Tub Revival

My long-time listeners (first time callers) may remember my Hot Tub People and More Hot Tub People series from earlier this year, waaaaay before I decided to try to draw. This was one of my favorite things EVER on Not Shallow.

So imagine my immense pleasure when I found this in a magazine from the 1970s:

Strange hot tub scenario from Apartment Living Magazine, 1976.

This is from an ad for Seagram’s 7 Crown – specifically for Seven & Sevens.

Whoah, baby.

I can attest to the fact that when one starts drinking Seven & Sevens, things get out of hand. I had one, debauched night of Seven & Sevens in college and that was that. Halfway through the night I decided that mixing the drink was too much work – far too many ingredients – and it was much better to simply take a sip of 7UP and then a sip of Seagram’s right from the bottle.

So the guy in this photo is going to be feeling some pain.

Speaking of pain… what the hell is going on here? Seagram’s wants you to believe that drinking their drink is going to lead to good times… but is sitting in a hot tub alone while a fully clothed woman pours cold water on your head Good Times? Maybe in feudal Japan.

Here’s the ad copy (Yeah, I can’t read it without hearing Don Draper’s voice in my head, either.)

Seagram’s 7 Crown and 7UP was invented for times like these. Not just good times. Great times.

Crisp. Refreshing. It’s the drink Americans enjoy when they’re enjoying themselves. To enjoy one yourself, simply pour an ounce and a half of Seagram’s 7 Crown over ice and add 7UP.

When you’re having fun, have Seven & Seven… America’s favorite drink.


Here’s my ad copy:

Seagram’s 7 Crown and 7UP was invented for times when you want to get laid but she wants to sit on the edge of the hot tub and play stupid water games.

Crisp. Deceptive. It’s the drink Americans turn to when they want to believe they’re enjoying themselves. To make one, fill a glass with about two-thirds Seagram’s  and a dash of 7UP, just enough to cut that alcohol taste.

When you think you might just possibly, after a few more drinks, have a moment of fun… turn to Seagram’s.


BTW, my hot tub palace, which I will open in 2016, will be called Sevens & Sevens’ 7 Crown.

More Hot Tub People (+ Some Sauna People)

Impromptu Date

A couple having a date in a hot tub.

“That was great. But I guess I should get around to actually fixing your cable. I’ve got other people waiting for me to show up between 1 and 6 p.m.”

“Can I interest you in a tempeh sandwich before you go?”

The Making of A Weirdo

Family sitting in hot tub.

“See, Sequoia, what your mom and I are doing here is a grand experiment. You’re either going to be an interesting person with a great sense of humor who finds her own path in life or a real fuck-up. But either way, you’re not going to like to have to wear clothes.”

Deep Thoughts

Woman thinking deep thoughts in a hot tub.

“Yeah, I think I could make it  in hip hop, if I really put my mind to it. There has to be room for a sensitive lady poet in the scene.”

Rock Lobster

Man and woman on a deck with a hot tub.

Woman: “Just another pinch of salt… This is going to be a lobster boil the likes of which Kennebunkport has never seen!”

Man: “Do I have to change out of my mini-robe before people show up?”

The Path To Womanhood

Three girls sitting in a sauna.

“No, it’s true. Whoever drinks a ladle-full of this sauna water will finally get her period. I swear.”

The Path to Manhood

Two men hanging out in a sauna.

“No, it’s true. Whoever drinks a ladle-full of this sauna water turns gay for the afternoon. You should try it. Things could get interesting. I don’t know about you but I’m getting mighty hot in this towel.”


A family on a deck.

Man: “I told them they can’t come out until they renounce the teachings of Justin Bieber. That was three days ago. But that’s fine – I’ve got nothing but time.”

For Fans of “Lost”

Hot tub that looks like it's in the middle of a jungle.

Man: “Say what you will about the Dharma Initiative, they sure know how to build a hot tub.”

Woman: “I’m so over trying to build that raft. Want to see what the Others are up to tonight?”

Hot Tub People


Woman reading in hot tub built for one.

“I can’t believe Mom used to use this for the geraniums.”


“Tomorrow I go over the Falls and prove everyone wrong.”

Lame Party

Lame party where one woman is in hot tub by herself while others stand around.

Lady In Hot Tub: Guys, the invitation said, ‘Bring your suit for hot tubbing!’

Man In Rainbow Shirt: No, it said ‘Wear your high-waisted jeans!’

Staff Meeting

Man sitting in hot tub conducting staff meeting.

“So, please have the report on the edge of the hot tub by tomorrow morning. Here’s what I’ve been working on – I think the deck needs some more foliage. Not around it but on it. So I’m doing a Power Point for that. And then I have some phone calls to make. Are you sure you don’t want to strip down and hop in here? No? Well, next week we should at least have coffee and bagels. Otherwise it doesn’t feel like a real staff meeting.”

Safety Sauna

man sitting in sauna talking to woman in hot tub

“Dr. Phillips said that whenever I don’t feel safe, I should put my robe on and go sit by myself for awhile. So that’s what I’m doing.”

“Don’t be silly, David, it’s just me. Come out of the sauna.”

“No. You’re the devil.”


Women in knitwear stare at each other over spa bath.

“Monica, you think you’re better than me, but once we’re both in our floor-length knitwear, we’re equals.”

“How long are you going to stand there, blabbing? I’d like to take my bath.”

“Well… OK… I was hoping to see your boobs but…”

“Trust me, they’re better than yours.”

“OK. I’m just going to go into the sauna and turn it up to 1500 degrees.”


Two women in a hot tub playing Dominoes.

“Oh, Helen, this is as wonderful as you said it would be. Except you know I can’t play Dominoes ever since I lost my arms in that whirlpool accident.”