Yearly Archives: 2010

I’m A Drummer! Reliving Hysteria

logo_def_leppardOne of the best TV movies Keith and I ever watched aired in 2001 on VH1 – Hysteria: The Def Leppard Story. Oh the ups and the downs! The tragedy and the triumphs! It turns out that you can rent the movie through Netflix but, maybe even better, you can watch it for free on YouTube in several installments.

This makes Hysteria seem like a fun webseries of 10-minutes episodes, which is maybe all you can take at one time. The story revolves around drummer Rick Allen’s accident, in 1984, that cost him his arm. Of course, Rick Allen and Def went on to triumph after that, which is what made this movie possible. If it had been Rick Allen lost his arm and became an angry, bitter man on top of Steve Clark dying of alcoholism, this movie couldn’t have been made. Well, it could have been made, maybe by Oliver Stone.

Continue reading I’m A Drummer! Reliving Hysteria

Funny WebComic Shiz: Gentleman’s Gentleman

Gent 2Another Fun & Exciting Summer item: the webcomic Gentleman’s Gentleman. The most recent lesson is about drinking games. The aim of Gentleman’s Gentleman is simple: to bring the light of gentlemanly manners to an uncouth, faintly scuzzy world. You may recall my post about the rules of being a gentleman’s gentleman… oh, you don’t? Well, you can read it here.

Yes, the artist/cartoonist is my ball and chain, Keith Pille. Ball and chain! Ha ha ha! I just made that up.

My top Gentleman’s Gentlemen (this week):

1. Tim Gunn
2. Dominic Dunn
3. George Clooney
4. Tony Bennett
5. Paul Newman

Check out the comic, bookmark it, learn the lessons, LIVE IT!

Hey, Here’s Summer Stuff

freja in waterIt’s summer and there are suddenly some new things to be excited about… As the group of bums standing around outside Hums Liquor yelled at me today, “It’s time to hit the beach!” Yeah, totally! I thought to myself, “What if I took them up on their offer, went to some beach with them and never even called work to say I wouldn’t be returning?” What if? This seems to be what life is all about, people.

First and number one, there’s this. I’m so excited for Season 4 I find myself dreaming about it sometimes. When I’m not dreaming that I can’t find a house I’m looking for because the address on the piece of paper I’m holding keeps changing. That’s a fun one.

Continue reading Hey, Here’s Summer Stuff

Nothing On TV, Let’s Watch A Movie: Funny People

fuzzy TV smallMovie reviews of stuff that’s already been reviewed by real movie critics and is out on DVD but, if you’re like us, you’re just getting around to watching it. Or thinking about watching it. Or maybe this is the first time you’re hearing about it…

Selection: Funny People, directed by Jud Apatow, starring Adam Sandler, Seth Rogan and Leslie Mann
Synopsis: A famous comedian (Adam Sandler) has a potentially fatal illness and hires a young comic (Seth Rogan) to be his personal assistant. Along the way, famous comedian gets a new lease on life and tries to rekindle a lost love (Leslie Mann).

Rebecca: If a screenwriter/director decides to call his film Funny People, he’s setting a bar. As in, the movie better deliver some funny people doing funny shit. So why did Apatow cast Adam Sandler?

OK, I don’t like Adam Sandler. I tried to come up something he’s done that I’ve enjoyed or really wanted to see and I’ve come up empty. I don’t even like “The Chanukah Song!” Which is all tough shit  for me because he’s  got a lot of stuff in development, three films in post production and a high-grossing slate of films already in the can. Happy Gilmore, Big Daddy, You Don’t Mess with the Zohan. This new Grown-Ups movie that’s about to come out [as my friend Chris pointed out, all those other guys in Grown-Ups are sooo lucky they’re friends with Sandler or they wouldn’t keep working].

Continue reading Nothing On TV, Let’s Watch A Movie: Funny People

Rock The Garden 2010: Rock Your Romper

OMG! We <3 The Walker!; photo by Daniel Corrigan
OMG! We <3 The Walker!; photo by Daniel Corrigan

The last time I attended Rock The Garden at the Walker Art Center Wilco was the headliner. We went with friends who had Walker connections and got to sit in the VIP section and I remember that Josh Hartnet put in an appearance. That’s mostly what I remember… oh, wait, someone brought their annoying child and she was busy being annoying the entire time.

So it was time to create some new R.T.G memories this year… I got very, very excited when it was announced that MGMT would be playing so I pressed Keith’s Walker membership into service (basically telling him he had to buy us tickets).

What I realized about R.T.G. is that you don’t have to like or even particularly care for the bands that play to have a great time. It’s worth going just to people watch on a sunny day. The crowd is laid back, everyone on their respective blankets, enjoying Walker-esque “festival food” like Barrio tacos, mock duck banh mi from Joe’s Garage (thumbs up!) and Summit beer.

Continue reading Rock The Garden 2010: Rock Your Romper

Ice Ice Baby Too Cold Too Cold

brosicingbros smallMaybe some of you have already heard of the “social media trend/drinking game” known as Bros Icing Bros. I just heard about it this past weekend.

But before I really had a chance to explore this situation, the Bros Icing Bros website went down and doesn’t appear to be coming back anytime soon. The message on the site says, “We had a good run, Bros.”

Boo.

Here’s what Bros Icing Bros entails (it should come as no surprise that this started out as a frat boy game): surprise one of your bros by giving him (or hiding someplace he will find) a Smirnoff Ice malt beverage. He then has to go down on one knee and drink it… I’m sorry, chug it all at once unless he happens to have a Smirnoff Ice on his person. Then the joke is on you – you have to take a knee and chug both of them. The reason this game works at all is that it’s somewhat of a punishment to have to chug all that terrible Smirnoff Ice.

A Bro can’t refuse an Ice. If a Bro refuses to drink an Ice he is immediately shunned. He can never Ice anyone, ever.

Continue reading Ice Ice Baby Too Cold Too Cold

An Epic Hair Wash of Heroic Proportions

spector small

I tried a new salon recently. Only because my current stylist is on maternity leave. I could have gone to another stylist at the same salon but I saw this as an opportunity to check out a salon in my neighborhood known for its expertise in cutting curly hair. I was cut-curious.

Curly hair is its own cult. You’ll know if you’re in the cult if you can relate to these statements:

1. Everyone tells you how lucky you are to have curly hair. “It’s so pretty!” Yet you often feel, deep down inside, as if you look like Phil Spector.

2. You either hate your hair, have a love/hate relationship with it or have decided to ignore it completely. “Curly hair? What curly hair? Oh, you mean that stuff on the top of my head?”

3. When you were in junior high and high school, you would have committed felonies if, in exchange, you could have had a silky, smooth ponytail that fell nicely down your back.

4. You either have no idea what it’s like to have short hair or, if you do know, it’s a traumatic event from your past marked by an arsenal of hair products, maintenance cuts and a growing-out phase during which you found yourself relying too heavily on headbands and staying in to watch movies.

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Sex & The Desert II: Redonk

golden girlsThank you for being a friend
Traveled down the road and back again… and again… and again

I feel silly saying it but this post contains spoilers of Sex And The City II. So if you don’t want to know the entire plot… oh, wait. There wasn’t a plot, per say. There was… stuff happening. So if you don’t want to know what stuff happened and that it all worked out in the end, stop reading now.

When I arrived home after seeing SATC II, I gave Keith a little bit of a recap. He said, “There’s a concept in the comics world called ‘fan service,’ and I think that’s what’s happening with SATC.” Meaning, once there is a huge fanbase for a story/characters, new issues of comics will just maintain the story, giving fans more of the same, instead of rocking the boat with plots that cause change or character transformation and upset fans.  Liken it to the experience of watching Super Friends on  a Saturday morning in the 1980s – there were the good guys, there were the bad guys, stuff happened and the bad guys got put down. Over and over and over again.

Continue reading Sex & The Desert II: Redonk

But You Are In That Chair! Fashion Edition

baby jane on beach 170From time to time, Baby Jane Hudson appears here with her question and answer column, But You Are In That Chair: Baby Jane’s Advice For the Confused, Depressed and Clueless. Today’s column features special guest Anna Wintour, Editor In Chief of Vogue Magazine and the person many consider to be the most powerful in the fashion industry today. Today’s focus is on providing guidance for the fashion illiterate while also pointing out trends for summer. Welcome to the Summer Fashion! Fashion! Fashion! edition.

Dear Baby Jane & Anna,
I’m fashion challenged. I go out and buy new clothes but they never look quite right; stuff I buy doesn’t match anything in my closet and I end up wearing button down shirts with sweatpants. How can I take steps to change this?
Dowdy & Doubtful
Erie, PA

Continue reading But You Are In That Chair! Fashion Edition

The Bears Are Out Of Hibernation

I stumbled across the Minneapolis Movie Bears site when I heard about a rummage sale they are having. It makes me supremely happy that a group like this exists in Minneapolis. I like it when people come together and do their thing, whether it’s bears who love movies or middle-aged women who love dolls. Whatever it is.

I also ♥ their logo, which looks like we’re peaking in on the A&W Root Beer bear when he’s off the clock and living his real life…

Continue reading The Bears Are Out Of Hibernation

Annoying Tweet Of The Day, May 20

“My God. I just heard that census forms weren’t mailed to people living on reservations in Minnesota. What can we do?!”

Hmmm… Here are the options as I see them:

1. Nothing. Because we are terrible people who all hate Indians and if the government don’t count ’em, we can pretend they don’t exist. And btw, Native Americans, stop eating all the fish!!

2. We can send you out to all reservations with stacks of census forms and have you go door-to-door.

3. Become hysterical on social media outlets.

4. Retreat with mugs of green tea, listen to more MPR and ruminate.

5. Go to the Census 2010 website and do a search for American Indian reservations. Come up with a transcript of a press conference during which the question of reservations was addressed by Census Bureau Director Dr. Robert Groves. Due to the fact that many reservations have postal systems of delivery that are quite complicated and housing changes rapidly, census workers are going out to reservations to make sure they have accurate lists of the housing units and to interview people. So, if you live on a reservation, you might not have gotten a census survey in the mail but this does not mean that people are not trying to contact you.

Also: Census Designated Places represent locally-known, unincorporated communities that contain a mix of residential, commercial, cultural, and/or retail uses similar to that of an incorporated place of similar size in a similar geographic setting. The delineation of Census Designated Places allows for the identification of, and tabulation of data for, unincorporated communities within the boundaries of federally recognized American Indian reservations, off-reservation trust lands, and Oklahoma Tribal Statistical Areas.

So, remember, a reservation is not set up like a suburb.

Yo. Word. Adjective. Pronoun. Adverb…

Reggie Watts opened for Conan O’Brien last night at the Orpheum Theatre in Mpls. He ruled the school.

This video ain’t for everyone… cuz of the naughty words. But it’s random and hilarious. Love the dancing clown.

His new CD/DVD is on sale now… you can get it through iTunes. It’s called “Why S*** So Crazy?” Indeed.

Annoying Tweet Of The Day, May 13

I’m really craving mints right now. I dunno. I want mints or something mild to be kind to my stomach. :\ Progress on paper: working in cites.”

Absolutely fascinating. Both parts, really. Would it be possible to just… go get mints instead of tweet about it?

What is the appropriate response to something like this? “Oh, Mr. X, I’m sorry your tummy hurts!!! 🙁 Feel better! Get that paper done!!!! Things will be better tomorrow!!!”

Meanwhile… meanwhile… oil continues to spill into the Gulf of Mexico. I’m just sayin’ And we still haven’t exhausted all the symbolism in Human Centipede. But mints for an upset tummy? I mean, it’s solvable.

Human Centipede: Redonk!

The-Human-CentipedeposterLast week I heard about the horror movie Human Centipede: First Sequence for the first time. In case you haven’t heard about it, this is a movie about an evil doctor (Surprise! He’s German) who decides to sew humans together, ass-to-mouth, as an experiment. He has experience in separating conjoined twins and decides that he’d really like to see the process in the reverse. You know, just something to do in his downtime.

Continue reading Human Centipede: Redonk!

Oh The Drama! Hecker Part II:

Hecker Resized For BlogWhen last I visited the Denny Hecker saga (see The Hecker Timeline), he was facing down 18 new charges of wire and bankruptcy fraud. He and Steve Leach, one of his former execs, were looking at 20 years in prison for conspiracy to commit wire fraud and 20 years on each count of wire fraud. Pile on top of that another 10 for Hecker for money laundering and five for each… well, let’s just say that he would surely die in prison.

Since then there have been many more twists, tears and admissions of guilt. Let’s catch up, shall we?

After the new felony charges came down, Hecker had to appear in family court regarding the missing support payments to second wife Sandra. He was behind something like $8,000 to her. On March 30th, the judge ordered Hecker to jail after he was found in contempt of court for hiding assets and lying about what he still owns.

Continue reading Oh The Drama! Hecker Part II:

Shock & Terror

birds attackI’ve been waiting to see BIRDEMIC for weeks and it finally arrives at the Uptown Theatre for the Midnight Madness movie on May 21 and 22. I’m “organizing” an outing for the Friday show. The quotation marks indicate that by “organizing” I mean – I’m going and I told a bunch of other people about it, via Facebook.

Sigh. Facebook. Won’t start on that rant here, but it’s brewing.

Anywho…

Continue reading Shock & Terror

Europe Is For Douchebags

You could go to see this tonight in Minneapolis:

Secret The Burning Man Festival started with a group of 20 friends who burned a wooden figure on a beach in honor of the summer solstice. Now some 20+ years later, the Burning Man Festival annually draws over 43,000 free thinkers, radicals, hippies, artists, and general revelers to a big patch of desert in Northern Nevada. The iconic festival’s history and philosophy have been cleverly wrapped up in this documentary, which not only tells the tale of how Burning Man evolved from a handful of hippies to a multi-million dollar movement, but it also examines how the ideals we form in our youth translate to life’s bigger picture. The film screens at 7pm and tickets are $15-$20 at the door. Tickets will likely sell out so arrive early. For more info visit www.dustandillusions.com.

7:00 PM Thursday at Oak Street Cinema in Minneapolis

Or, you could just watch this from the comfort of your home. Same difference?

Birthday Jamz

teddybears imageYesterday, I put together a new play list on iTunes in honor of my birthday. Here is what I picked:

1. Maneater by The Bird and The Bee; yes, a cover of Hall & Oates. I happen to love H&O, Keith hates them. He hates them with a passion usually reserved only for Steely Dan. I had to admit that “Private Eyes” isn’t so wonderful but I greatly enjoy the rest of their catalog. “Rich Girl?” Come on! Anyway, this cover is great. After I bought it I realized that I have another song of theirs, a cover of the Bee Gees’ “How Deep Is Your Love.”

2. Dim’s Jazz (Latin’s In The House) by Dmitri From Paris – this is all about my quest to not only embrace the 1990s World Beat sensibility but also to listen to French electronic/jazz/house music. I feel as if I need a musical niche. And yes, I’m pronouncing that “neeche.”

Continue reading Birthday Jamz

Annoying Tweet Of The Day, May 4

“I have been reminded: I need to buy seasons 5 and 6 of Sabrina the Teenage Witch. Also: I need to find time for TV watching. And $$$.”

OK. OK, wait. There is someone, an adult, who feels compelled to purchase seasons 5 AND 6 of Sabrina the Teenage Witch? Like, for a DVD collection? And… and… needs to schedule time for TV watching? And then, just as a side note, needs some money?

Consider my mind blown.

And, on second thought, aren’t these priorities in exactly the reverse order of what they should be, assuming that TV watching is a legit priority? I mean, this person is Midwestern, so according to Patricia Heaton she should be surgically attached to a TV but… I’m going to say securing money equals time to dedicate to TV watching and then, if you’re super bored, seasons 5 & 6 of Sabrina (shudder).

Exiled From The Land of Slumber

sad clown pille“It’s been a while since there’s been a show for the people who are actually watching TV most of the time, which is everybody between New York and LA,” said Patricia Heaton, who grew up in Ohio.

You make the clown cry, Patricia Heaton. Just because you grew up in Ohio but escaped you decree that everyone who lives in this country, except for in two coastal cities, are TV zombies? Guess what? I have no idea what TV show you’re on right now. Don’t watch it. Don’t care. I would hazard a guess though that’s it’s a sitcom in which you are married to 1) a fat guy or 2) a lovable moron. So exactly who is wasting their life????

That’s as much venom as I can muster today after waking up too early this morning in order to think about stupid shit. Why does this happen? Wide awake at 4:45… Here are the the items that seemed very important at that hour of the day.

Continue reading Exiled From The Land of Slumber

Annoying Tweet Of The Day, April 27

“I’m back from AZ and glad to be back at work! “Vacation” was busy busy busy!”

Translation: “Wow, I am just so important! I bet all my co-workers are sighing with relief that I’m back from vacation because I LOVE WORK and I GET THINGS DONE. The place practically fell apart without me, not to mention my heartbreaking absence from Twitter while I was busy, busy, busy in AZ.”

What reached out to me about this tweet was the use of quotation marks around the word vacation. I assume that we, the people who happen to see this person’s tweets, are to feel sorry that it wasn’t truly a vacation? Or to think her a hero for not taking it easy on vacation?

People who don’t take it easy on vacation are low on my sympathy list. Calm down and read a magazine already!


The Care & Feeding of Stephen Baldwin

creepy stephen baldwinLast week I was wondering what my old friend Stephen Baldwin has been up to lately. I just don’t see him as much since he experienced his Second Birth. So it was synchronicity when my other friend who is not Stephen Baldwin shared The Restoration of Stephen Baldwin with me.

What is this? you might ask. Some kind of elaborate ruse? A joke? A prank?

Not at all. The truth, which Stephen is not shy about admitting, is that he needs money. And since he’s a man of Faith, Christians the world over should chip in to Restore Him To His Former Glory. And by Glory he means financial status, i.e. please restore him to the lifestyle to which he grew accustomed to as a Baldwin in the 1990s.

Continue reading The Care & Feeding of Stephen Baldwin

Annoying Tweet Of The Day – A Two ‘Fer

“I try to eat healthy, even my snacks that I go nuts for are healthy, I rarely ever eat things like Cheetos.”

Not that I’m thinking about Cheetos. Not that I like Cheetos. Not that I ate an entire bag of Cheetos last night and now I’m starting over because it’s Monday, the start of a new week. This week I’m going to be perfect. This week I will only eat nuts and berries for snacks. I’m Nutz for Nuts! Who would want to eat Cheeots, anyway? Who likes that cheddar cheese taste and that satisfying bite down into a puff of fatty crispiness?

“I owe my success to having listened respectfully to the very best advice, and then going away and doing the exact opposite.”

Face it. I’m fucking raaaaaad as hell.

Annoying Tweet Of the Day, April 22

“Today is Earth Day and it’s not even trending on Twitter? I hope your children enjoy… not being born.”

I feel confident when I say that, so far at least, my unborn children have been having a grand time. In fact, just last night they said, “You know, if you  never get around to having us, that’s OK. We don’t want to have to deal with global warming.”

Smoke Gets In Your Eyes

madmendolls2

So my Mad Men Season 3 discs arrived yesterday and when I opened the box, a little postcard fell out. On it is a sketch that is labeled, “Ken as Roger Sterling.” Flip the card over and it says, “Award-winning Series. Award-winning Style. Mad Men and Barbie Debuting Summer 2010.”

Woah. Hold on. This is a whole dimension I never thought of before. And of course I want every single doll.

Continue reading Smoke Gets In Your Eyes

Teddy Bear Suits & A Croquet Dominatrix

Voltage 2010

teddy bear costumeFriday night was Voltage Fashion Amplified at First Avenue in Minneapolis. This year we were perched at the railing on the upper level in order to avoid some of the pushing and shoving of last year (it got a little crazy up in that bitch) and also to allow for easier viewing of the clothing for those among us who are short in stature. I admit, watching a rock and fashion show from up above does put things in a weird perspective, not just in terms of how one sees the clothing but also in terms of interacting with the crowd. Although, things weren’t quite as raucous this year. In fact, it seemed downright organized, which is kind of disappointing. What, no sneaking into the VIP section (guarded by a tough-looking broad) to hobnob with press types and the Beautiful People? No displays of underwear? Damn.

Before I go into my download of the fashion at this year’s event, I’ve noticed that most of what fashion writing exists in the Twin Cities is consistently upbeat, dare I say perky. The idea, which is a good one if you’re connected to the industry in any way, is to champion our designers because the design world here is so small and insular. It’s a seedling that people want to see grown and flourish. I do, too. But since I’m not connected to the industry other than as an observer, sometime participant and home sewer, I can also say what other people won’t:

Minnesota designers need to take risks. Go ahead. We can handle it.

Continue reading Teddy Bear Suits & A Croquet Dominatrix

My New Company: Lonely Prisoner Maps

hiking bootsApril 19, 2009: “Journalists Laura Ling and Euna Lee, hoping to interview defectors from North Korea, began with a series of meetings in Seoul before flying to the Chinese city of Yanji, on the North Korean border. They were warned not to leave Chinese soil but ventured across the frozen Tumen river anyway. Exact details of their capture vary, with some accounts indicating that they were arrested by North Korean troops after refusing to stop filming, and others suggesting that they were pursued across the ice and back on to Chinese soil before being taken into custody.” – Times Online

April 11, 2010: “Today marks the 250th day of the detainment of Shane Bauer, Josh Fattal and Sarah Shourd, all recent graduates of UC Berkeley, by the Iranian government. According to the Cal Berkeley student group Friends of the Hikers, the three former students were hiking in Iraqi Kurdistan when they ‘accidentally crossed an unmarked border’ into Iran, and have been in custody of the Iranian government since 31 July 2009.” – SFGate.com

Continue reading My New Company: Lonely Prisoner Maps

Going Off To That Big Canadian Pavilion In The Sky

corey-haimI know that you’ve been losing sleep over what’s happening with the film American Sunset, so I thought I’d tell you about this press release announcing that it’s going to showcase at Cannes.

Wait. What? You’ve never heard of American Sunset?

Seriously? Corey Haim’s final attempt to act?

Yes, I’m talking about Corey Haim and Cannes at the same time. But back to that in a minute.

Continue reading Going Off To That Big Canadian Pavilion In The Sky

It’s Raining Well-Rounded Men

wrestlingSo there’s an interesting contest going on in Minneapolis right now called One Man Minneapolis. Basically, if I’ve got it down right, they are going to crown one man from Minneapolis/St. Paul “The One.” The one man who best represents “COMMUNITY INVOLVEMENT, PERSONALITY, INTELLIGENCE, AND FITNESS.” [Shouting text not the author’s own.]

But like any beauty pageant for women, isn’t this stuff entirely subjective? Intelligence? Are we having them take tests? Submit SAT scores or IQ tests? Personality? Fitness… I guess this is a nicer way of saying “hotness?”

Continue reading It’s Raining Well-Rounded Men

But You Are In That Chair! Cheats & Scoundrels Edition

baby jane on beach 170From time to time, Baby Jane Hudson appears here with her question and answer column, But You Are In That Chair: Baby Jane’s Advice For the Confused, Depressed and Clueless. Today’s special focus is Douche Bags In the News: Ladies Take Notes!

Dear Baby Jane,
My heart is broken for Sandra Bullock! From the high high of winning a Best Actress Oscar to the low low of losing her husband Jesse James to a tramp, I don’t know how she’s holding it all together. Today I read online that Hollywood is rallying behind her. Do you think Sandra will be OK and make more wonderful movies like
The Blind Side?
America’s Other Sweetheart
Tagalong, Texas

Continue reading But You Are In That Chair! Cheats & Scoundrels Edition

You Blow My Minnnnd

Let’s play a game! Which “Missed Connections” from Craig’s List listed below are FAKE?

girl in keys cafe, you blow my minnnnd
daaaaym, baby u were fine as hell. i think u were sum kinda latinaaaa. baby girl, im jus trynna holla. u had sum sexy ass brown eyes n DANG GURL. i kno ur name wuz sam and i just wanted to taste your caramel. cum on, plz reply if u eva read this. i think i luv u. u smelled so nice. n if ur not interested, that hottie redhead can holla too.

Continue reading You Blow My Minnnnd

The First Page in “WTF: The Book” Comes To Us From Ohio

Yesterday, while driving to work, I was listening to the radio and heard about Lawrence Reynolds Jr., a death row inmate in Ohio who was scheduled to be killed on March 9th but instead took a drug overdose on the 7th and had to be taken to a hospital for resuscitation. Once they were sure that he was back in stable condition, the Ohio state prison system promptly scheduled his death by lethal injection.

Continue reading The First Page in “WTF: The Book” Comes To Us From Ohio

The Hecker Timeline

Hecker Resized For BlogI’ve gotten interested in the trials and tribulations of former Twin Cities auto king Denny Hecker. By sifting through many media sites, I have compiled the following time line detailing the rise and fall of The Heck. This time line is a living thing… new information comes in daily and I’m sure there are also errors or improperly worded points. If you have some major Hecker news or corrections to add, please let me know via comments. I’ll be updating it as new info becomes available. Without further ado…

Laughing In The Face Of Fate:
The Denny Hecker Story

1950s-1970s
Denny Hecker is born in 1952 and raised in North Minneapolis.

1970: Hecker graduates from Patrick Henry High School in Minneapolis and marries his first wife, Judith Martin, the following fall. They stay married for less than two years. He does a brief stint in college and then drops out to sell cars at a local dealership. Cars, it seems, were his destiny.

1973: Hecker marries Sandra Storm (who may or may not be a comic book heroine). They remain married for ten years and have two daughters.

Continue reading The Hecker Timeline

C’mon, This Is Boondock… Don’t Screw Around!

OvernightIn 1997, Troy Duffy was poised to be the next Quentin Tarantino. Well, maybe the next Robert Rodriguez. He was, for a very brief time, Harvey Weinstein’s pet and Weinstein’s Miramax Films was going to produce Troy’s first-ever script, The Boondocks Saints.  Miramax was going to shell out $15 million to make the movie and allow Duffy, who had never directed even so much as a home video, to direct. But soon enough Harvey got bored with Duffy, or more likely found him to actually be an unoriginal, slightly psychotic bore, and stopped returning his phone calls, which one could do if one was Harvey in 1997 (today not so much). A person would have had to work pretty hard to be more irritating than Harvey Weinstein in 1997 but Troy Duffy managed it.

Continue reading C’mon, This Is Boondock… Don’t Screw Around!

I Am the Strength Inside My Strength Heart. I STAND TALL!

Annoying Ways In Which Annoying People Use Twitter

1. People who are on Twitter to promote things, probably for pay, who think they are being clever in the way they do it:

“Just flattened my hair with the new Blacksmith Iron by Hair Thing Maker and it’s fabulous. My hair hasn’t looked this good since my senior picture.”

“Made a sandwich and didn’t know what to put it in and then saw my new box of ZIPLOC  Super Zip sandwich bags!”

“I love the indie band SOFT PALETTE and their new album KNOCK YOUR TEETH OUT. Got it at WalMart for $8.99.”

Continue reading I Am the Strength Inside My Strength Heart. I STAND TALL!

Somebody Sure Is Going To Look Sweet

If I were a single woman and a date came to pick me up in this, I’d be pretty impressed. Hell, if my husband came to pick me up in this (from work!) I’d be pretty impressed. This seems to me to be the perfect transport for snow-bound Gentleman’s Gentlemen everywhere.

Snowmobile Front blog

Sweet Snowmobile blog

I looked it up and this phone number should be area code “601” if you feel inclined to call and strike a deal!

Snowmobile Listing blog

Forget Original Gangsta! Gentleman’s Gentleman Is Where It’s At

louis-malleKeith and I were having a discussion yesterday about our dog, Freja, being “a dog’s dog.” What this means, we decided, is that she’s loved by dogs and humans alike just for her very unfussy, no-holds-barred “dogginess.” This stems from another ongoing discussion between us about being a “Gentleman’s Gentleman.” Just what is a Gentleman’s Gentleman? With kind regards to Mr. Grant Weeks (truly in the running to be a GG), here are some pointers Keith and I came up with.

1. Have a flask on your person as often as possible. The flask must be filled with good liquor, no rotgut. Whiskey is preferred but not required. A true Gentleman’s Gentleman would have an engraved flask, possibly with a picture of a bulldog.

Continue reading Forget Original Gangsta! Gentleman’s Gentleman Is Where It’s At

LOST Extras: New Coffee Table Book

In honor of the final season of LOST, ABC and Grinder Press are releasing a coffee table book entitled LOST’S Hottest Extras: The Castaways You May Have Missed.

Most of us were probably focused on Sawyer’s, I’m sorry, James’s shiny chest or maybe Sayid’s curly locks or even perhaps Kate’s… freckles. Here’s just a sampling of the hotties you missed.

Continue reading LOST Extras: New Coffee Table Book

Who Is the Devil In Your Neighborhood?

I started reading a new book today. A little light reading called The Sociopath Next Door by Martha Stout. I saw it a couple weeks ago while browsing at Barnes & Noble and put it on hold at the library. According to the book, 4% of the U.S. population are sociopaths, or 1 out of 25 people. That number seemed alarming until I started to read the book, which points out that this doesn’t mean that 1 out of 25 people are violent or serial killers. There are more ways to qualify as sociopathic. The one common element is a lack of conscience.

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But You Are In That Chair! The Career Edition

baby jane on beach smallFrom time to time, Baby Jane Hudson appears here with her question and answer column, But You Are In That Chair: Baby Jane’s Advice For the Confused, Depressed and Clueless. Today’s special focus is Career Advice for the Confused, Depressed and Financially Dependent because, even though Baby Jane hasn’t worked since she was 12, she has a lot to say about the subject.

Dear Baby Jane,
I’ve been looking for a job since July 2009 and I’ve only managed to get two interviews during that time. This leads me to believe that maybe my resume isn’t very good. Any advice for what makes a strong resume?
Will Work For Food, Little Rock, Arkansas

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It Blows My Mind That You Would Even Talk to Me

On this drab, January day, what I feel like doing is putting on a tiny black dress, going into my big white studio and dancing around.

Does anyone else feel a little bit of nostalgia for songs like this? The young, virile Bobby with his floppy dance moves, waxed chest… It reminds me of summer, 1988, when I was most likely bored. Maybe I danced around to “Every Little Step” in my bedroom or something. I was quite the fan of New Jack Swing.

I think a commenter on YouTube said it best when she said, “Bobby Brown IS KILLIN it on the Dance floor.”

The Revolutionary Costume – T-Shirts Now Available

little edie tshirt blogOh, hi. Thank heaven you’re here.
You look absolutely terrific, honestly.
(Mother wanted me to come out in a kimono so we had quite a fight…)

OK, I finally did it. I put the Little Edie t-shirts up for sale on etsy.

Visit my little shop with its one t-shirt style! Less is more, right?

Everyone is always bragging about how great etsy.com is but I found at least the initial store set-up bewildering and time-consuming. But still. I’ve got a Not Shallow store and it’s open for bidness.

I’m going to add more portrait t-shirts in the months to come. But who wants to think about that after all the labor of just getting these first t-shirts up there? Guess what? I won’t be quitting my day job anytime soon.

Really, all I wanted to do was make a Little Edie t-shirt available to the masses. Or, uh, about 13 of you.

Was anyone else scandalized that Drew Barrymore didn’t even give any thanks to Little Edie or Big Edie in her acceptance speech for her Golden Globe on Sunday? She’s no Little Edie!

And that’s the revolutionary costume for today.
To show the polo riders, in khakis and topsiders,
Just what a revolutionary costume has to say.
It can’t be ordered from L.L. Bean.
There’s more to living than kelly green.
And that’s the revolution, I mean.

Da da da da dum…

I’m Not Going to Talk About Avatar

Hooray! It’s Hollywood Foreign Press Association 2010 Golden Globe Awards Eve!

We’re scrubbing floors, tidying up and planning the menu for the big day tomorrow. How about you?

Kidding! Well, OK, I’m planning a menu but that’s mostly because I like to eat things and will make any excuse to do so.

I’ve read some online “analysis” about why the Golden Globes are better than the Oscars. Mostly it has to do with a lack of stuffiness and a willingness for the HFPA to vote their hearts and not according to some old grudge or because someone is blood brothers with Tom Hanks, Steven Spielberg or, God help them, Ron Howard. Or that strange, little Brian Grazer creature who turns up everywhere, his hair like a periscope announcing his arrival.

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Heads Will Roll

Man, I’m really into the song “Heads Will Roll” by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs right now. I don’t know much about the band, except that Karen O is known for her extravagant dressing (at least until upstaged many times over by Lady Gaga). I guess I just don’t pay that much attention to music. But this song actually motivated me to go out to YouTube and find the video.

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Can You Be Everything I’ve Ever Dreamed Of And More?

A few years ago (five, seven?), during a time when I was looking for a job and not having any luck, I came across a classified ad that exemplified everything I didn’t want in a job and I cut it out, almost as a reminder to myself that, no matter how bad things got, I could never allow myself to sink to the level of what this ad was asking someone to be.

Last night I was looking through some old papers and found the clipping again. I’m going to reproduce it here because I know a lot of people are looking for work right now and maybe this clipping will help them clarify in their minds what they will or won’t do or remind them that, yes, things are bad but maybe they’re not so bad.

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Fan Fiction: LOST, Season One

TRUE CALLING

boarDay ten on the island. I’m going through suitcases on the beach, sorting stuff into piles. Clothing. Toiletries. Books.

It occurs to me that I could start a small island lending library with all the paperbacks we’ve found. Mostly Harry Potter, Tom Clancy stuff, two copies of Memoirs of a Geisha, romance novels, one Life of Pi, Bridget Jone’s Diary. It seems that people tend not to read the classics when they fly. Who can blame them? I’m glad I wasn’t reading Russian literature when the plane started to break apart, or I would have been too paralyzed by depression to reach out for my oxygen mask.

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Please Stop Talking.

Some phrases and words that bother me a great deal…

Event listing descriptions that begin “Get thee to XXX tonight…” Yeah, I don’t know why this is common enough that I’ve noticed it. Drives me mad. Like, ha ha, I’m funny and Olde English and I’m doing a take-off on the line, “Get thee to a nunnery!” Which might have been effective once but not 234 times. Get thee to the Jagged Edge Bar tonight for the wet t-shirt contest. Get thee to the feminist spoken word slam. I just received an event announcement via email with one of the listings beginning, “Get thee to Uptown this frigid January eve for a hot, hot set by melodic indie supergroup, Communist Daughter.” Get thee to Uptown? Snort. And get thee to Uptown on this frigid night? No fucking way, anyway. I’m not even going to touch “melodic indie supergroup.” OK, yeah I am. Indie or supergroup… which is it? Supergroup makes me think of Boston or Air Supply. Or… Aerosmith. Communist Daughter… not so much.

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Hot Time, Get It While It’s Easy

sleazy rag doll 2A few days ago, the song “Rag Doll” by Aerosmith came up in conversation. I don’t remember how, when or what the exact circumstances are. Maybe it was on the radio in the car. In just a few seconds, the complete awfulness of this song washed over me in a way it hadn’t since the song was popular in the late 80s.

Say what you will about the troubles we went through in the Double 00’s, I’m glad we live in an era that’s past the time when Aerosmith puts out music that’s embraced by the masses. They can have all the last hurrahs they want (although what is the official status of Steven Tyler right now?) as long as they don’t put out any more music on the level of “Rag Doll.”

It’s been heavy on my mind. Today, I looked up the lyrics.

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New Year’s Resolution: Toot My Own Horn More

Early in 2009, I wrote an essay for the site Twin Cities Daily Planet about why I love Little Edie Beale and the documentary Grey Gardens. Then I reviewed Grey Gardens (the musical) when it opened at The Ordway in St. Paul.

Today I found out that my essay, Why I love Grey Gardens (and Edith “Little Edie” Bouvier Beale) was the second-most read article of the year on TC Daily Planet’s site. The list of the top ten “most read” for the site can be found here. I’m on the list with stuff about the Minneapolis schoolboard, Ethiopia and the best bars to meet single women. Sweet!

Kicking off the new year with love for Little Edie is fabulous. Stay tuned for more Little Edie news in the next few days!