“Every time our company blog passes another metric milestone, I celebrate a little. Content wins the game, and some companies never make it.”
I’m a company man, oh yes
A company man, oh yes
If they had a store I’d shop it
If they had a blog I’d read it
I’m a company man, oh yes
A company man, oh yes
If they had a song I’d sing it
If they had a cocktail I’d drink it
You get the general idea. I’ll tell you something shocking about the person who posted this. This person is not part of Gen X. I know, can you believe it?
Continue reading Annoying Tweet Of The Day – Nov. 3 →
“It’s National Happy Hour Day and from 5-6pm we’ll be serving FREE Budweiser.”
For one hour today we will serve up FREE piss.
Because we hate National Happy Hour Day and want everyone to die.
“ Thai chicken peanut wrap at Au Bon Pain. Pretty tasty. Just the right amount of zip to the peanut sauce.”
Well, that about sums up the day, people. We can all go to bed now. Someone had a tasty thai chicken wrap.
“Foursquare Needs Women (good luck!)… 4x as many men on it now (The Social Graf)”
Good luck, indeed, because Foursquare is lame. Perhaps many women recognize this. They also recognize that broadcasting their whereabouts to desperate Foursquare men is not such a good idea. Duh.
“I’m mayor of the dark alley behind my apartment building. Just taking out the trash all by myself… at midnight.”
“I’m mayor of Meat Market Bar tonight. Because I’m too drunk and helpless to leave on my own!”
“I’m on this lonely, wooded trail that winds through this park where no one seems to hang out. Getting my jog on with headphones!”
“Purple is my new signature color. So classy, sophisicated, sexy… and funky. Just like me.”
Triangle is my new signature shape. So pointy, hard to hug, elusive… and hilarious. Just like me.
May I make just one observation… Are you really sophisticated if you can’t spell “sophisticated” correctly?
“My God. I just heard that census forms weren’t mailed to people living on reservations in Minnesota. What can we do?!”
Hmmm… Here are the options as I see them:
1. Nothing. Because we are terrible people who all hate Indians and if the government don’t count ’em, we can pretend they don’t exist. And btw, Native Americans, stop eating all the fish!!
2. We can send you out to all reservations with stacks of census forms and have you go door-to-door.
3. Become hysterical on social media outlets.
4. Retreat with mugs of green tea, listen to more MPR and ruminate.
5. Go to the Census 2010 website and do a search for American Indian reservations. Come up with a transcript of a press conference during which the question of reservations was addressed by Census Bureau Director Dr. Robert Groves. Due to the fact that many reservations have postal systems of delivery that are quite complicated and housing changes rapidly, census workers are going out to reservations to make sure they have accurate lists of the housing units and to interview people. So, if you live on a reservation, you might not have gotten a census survey in the mail but this does not mean that people are not trying to contact you.
Also: Census Designated Places represent locally-known, unincorporated communities that contain a mix of residential, commercial, cultural, and/or retail uses similar to that of an incorporated place of similar size in a similar geographic setting. The delineation of Census Designated Places allows for the identification of, and tabulation of data for, unincorporated communities within the boundaries of federally recognized American Indian reservations, off-reservation trust lands, and Oklahoma Tribal Statistical Areas.
So, remember, a reservation is not set up like a suburb.
“I’m back from AZ and glad to be back at work! “Vacation” was busy busy busy!”
Translation: “Wow, I am just so important! I bet all my co-workers are sighing with relief that I’m back from vacation because I LOVE WORK and I GET THINGS DONE. The place practically fell apart without me, not to mention my heartbreaking absence from Twitter while I was busy, busy, busy in AZ.”
What reached out to me about this tweet was the use of quotation marks around the word vacation. I assume that we, the people who happen to see this person’s tweets, are to feel sorry that it wasn’t truly a vacation? Or to think her a hero for not taking it easy on vacation?
People who don’t take it easy on vacation are low on my sympathy list. Calm down and read a magazine already!
“Today is Earth Day and it’s not even trending on Twitter? I hope your children enjoy… not being born.”
I feel confident when I say that, so far at least, my unborn children have been having a grand time. In fact, just last night they said, “You know, if youÂ never get around to having us, that’s OK. We don’t want to have to deal with global warming.”
“While most were smoking weed yesterday… I was remembering the Columbine tragedy.”
Hmmm… self-righteous much??
Sadly, I was doing neither. I feel so inadequate.