Tag Archives: swimming suits

The Short Stack: March 21

Every Friday, I share  the pop culture, fashion, lit and random blips that crossed my radar during the week. Enjoy! Or don’t. Your choice.

It’s spring! Hooray!

Can I put my puffy coat away now? Actually, let me rephrase that: can I burn my puffy coat now? This thing… it’s ripped, it’s got salt on it, it’s greasy in spots. Basically, it looks less like a coat and more like a blanket that a bear used to hibernate on all winter. I am beyond caring. I no longer even do spot cleaning like I did in January. I just let it all hang out. I think the entire things smells. I can’t put my body into it one more time. Here’s something else I’m not sure I can put my body into: denim overall shorts

I’ve got bad news: overalls are back. It was only a matter of time, right? I’ve noticed some definite overalls creep: first on ASOS, then on Madewell and, of course, Urban Outfitters.

[P.S. If someone I knew showed up wearing this “Chambray Machinist Jumpsuit” I would instantly and forever lose respect for them UNLESS they explained that they were, in fact, in the business of fixing cars and/or small motors and would hook me up for free the next time I had trouble with my washing machine.]

This is where it’s all been heading, people. First it was rompers, which you could ignore if you were no longer a baby or a very insecure 18-year-old girl who also wears fedoras. Then it was the return of the jumpsuit, which, whatever, if you didn’t live in Flatbush paying attention was optional. But I’ve got a bad feeling about the denim overall. This is the kind of shit Midwesterners will embrace, you know, because there’s a comfort level associated with it, like with flip flops. So… pack up those skinny jeans and find a piece of straw to put between your teeth as you rock your farm-chic this summer.

Look, I had my overalls phase, back in college. Except I kept it super-duper real by going and getting a pair of used overalls that were probably designed for a 300-pound man. Yeah, I have no idea. It looked like I was hauling a 10-lb. sack of potatoes in my ass, which… huh… sort of runs counter to what most 19-year-olds wanted their ass to look like when they’re at a party trying to impress some guys by dancing around like a fool to Ace of Base.

“I did it myyyyyyyy way!”

This leads me to another observation: I believe humans might have run out of things to do with denim. Maybe I’m being short-sighted here. I’m like the person who said TV would never overtake radio, the Internet wouldn’t last, who cares about Xcel spreadsheets… But I’ve got a feeling that if we’re on the second round of acid washing this cloth, we’ve come to the end of the line.

Here’s what I’m going to do: bring back the baggy jean. The kind Denise wore on The Cosby Show, belted at the waist so she got that paper bag effect. Yeah. I’m all about that.

Other Fashion Stuffs
Recently I discovered this company called Black Milk Clothing. They have a Game of Thrones clothing line, complete with models wearing Daenerys Targaryen-inspired wigs. I have to say it’s a bit disappointing – no leather outfits at all but an inexplicable ninja hooded catsuit, which no character has ever worn on any episode. Setting that aside, I’m not sure what to make of this (not Game of Thrones-inspired) swimming suit:

woman wearing a dem guts swimming suit OK, why the boots? Don’t feel like getting cigarette butts caught between your toes when you walk across the sand at the beach?

This is called “dem guts” swimming suit. I would actually pay a lot of money ($10) to see a suburban mom wear this to the water park/zero depth wading pool and stand around talking to other moms. With the boots. Maybe also smoking a Swisher Sweet.

I know, I know, so not their demographic. They actually have some other cute ones, if you are into the look and love R2D2. I’m pretty sure Land’s End is rushing to produce some knock-offs. Their body innards suit is going to depict the lungs of a 30-year smoker, for that edgier look Land’s End is known for.

Watching
I saw the Veronica Mars movie. Is that what it’s called –  Veronica Mars Movie? If it’s not, it should be, because everyone calls it that. It was like a super special, extra-long episode. I thought the plot was a wee bit weak but it was great to see the old gang. The best part was just feeling wrapped up in nostalgia for belly shirts and that Dandy Warhols song.

Next I want to see the Budapest movie. And I would love to see this doc about Elaine Stritch. Trust me, that outfit is exactly what I’m wearing to work today.

Bugging
Email subject lines suddenly irritate me. How about people who send you an email and put whatever they want to ask you or tell you as the subject line:

subject: i will be at the meeting tomorrow, 10:30 am, will you be at the meeting

subject: what do you think of this blue shirt with the stripes on it i like it

subject: can we decide what to do about this problem with the print job that we’re waiting on please?

I think retailers are running out of subject lines to sell their crap. Here are some I got this week:

subject: 25% off new-in hotness + so much swimwear
(I don’t even know what this means)

subject: The Structured Pouch Is Here
(hot damn!) (P.S. can a “pouch” be structured? A pouch is unstructured and… pouchy by nature, isn’t it? If I say you have a pouch, it means you have a saggy tummy, not an angular, well-structured one)

subject: Pedi time! Sandals starting at $49.95
(it’s snowing out right now so please shut up)

Listening
I’ve been thinking a lot about California and Hollywood lately, so I put together a California song playlist. A few of the songs have no specific connection to do California, I just wanted them in the mix because, in my mind, it’s what I would listen to while cruising down a California highway with no traffic.  I thought I’d share it here. Got a CA song for me to add? No Eagles, please!

California Dreamin’ – The Mamas & The Papas (duh)
Say Good-bye to Hollywood – Billy Joel
Love Will Keep Us Together – Captain & Tennille (seems so 1970s L.A. to me)
California Girls – David Lee Roth
Hooray for Hollywood – Nancy Sinatra
Walking in L.A. – Missing Persons
Higher Ground – Red Hot Chili Peppers (because I can’t stand Californication)
Pretty in Pink – The Psychedelic Furs
We Used to Be Friends – The Dandy Warhols
Hollywood – Madonna
Do You Know the Way to San Jose – Dionne Warwick
Free Fallin’ – Tom Petty
Los Angeles – X
Hollywood Freaks – Beck
The Only Place – Best Coast
Los Angeles – Frank Black
In California – Neko Case
California Man – Cheap Trick
California Love – Tupac Shakur (the only American export the Russians need/love/want/give a damn about)
Somewhere Over the Rainbow – Judy Garland

Reading
Little Failure

Tired. Bye y’all.

tupac shakur