I can’t decide what I think of this dress. Done in white, its horrendous. OK, maybe horrendous is a little bit much. But it is sort of a “Third-Times-the-Charm” bridal dress. I so want to draw a cigarette in a holder into her right hand and a martini glass into her left. Doesn’t she look a bit judgmental, like she knows something we don’t? Maybe she knows that if you make this dress in white, you are going to be making a big mistake.

On the other hand, Flouncy Hair in the reddish dress looks kinda cute. I like it with the belt although I never like belted dresses on me because I’m “thickish” in the waist. Still, I would wear a dress like this just for the top part. I like the collar. I don’t know if this will be my next venture, but it has possibilities for fall.

As you’ll notice – again with the pencil legs.

When I bought this pattern, I thought it was for a sun dress. Upon closer inspection though, I discovered that it’s for a “Beach Dress.” Is that polite language for “Cover Up?” And I can see how Ginger, the one in the middle, is obviously covering up a bikini. And see, she has sunglasses. But the other two? Am I crazy or are those dresses? I guess I could pick any fabric I wanted to and just call it a Shift. Women need to wear more shifts, which are defined as “straight, loose fitting dresses worn with or without a belt.” If my skirt doesn’t work out, maybe it will become The Summer of the Shift.

But what adult woman wears her hair like Contestant #3? A ponytail positioned on the top of the head? I don’t care if you are at the beach, that’s just weird. She seems a bit unhinged and off balance. Of course, could that be because she’s leaning against an imaginary wall while digging in her ear trying to get some wax out? Honestly, some of these pattern poses are just so self-conscious.

This dress has a series of buttons down the side with gaps in between, maybe to cover up the bikini underneath but still give the look a “peek-a-boo” element. So I guess maybe this wouldn’t be a dress for the office?