Tag Archives: two and a half men

How To Speak Charlie Sheen

Over the past week, we’ve heard and seen a lot of the Sheen and it ain’t over yet (nor is it the first time Sheen has jumped the tracks – there was all that 9/11 conspiracy stuff). Sometimes it can be hard to decipher what he’s saying, especially if you were still a child in the 1980s and aren’t up on slang used in 1987.

Here is a guide to understanding the lingo and the worldview of The Winningest Man in Showbiz. All of these words of wisdom have been culled from his various appearances over the past week.

“I’m tired of pretending I’m not a total bitchin’ rock star from Mars.”

What This Means: I can no longer contain my craziness and so I’m hanging it out to dry on the line. Take a good, long look.

Bitchin’ is 1980s lingo for awesome, amazing, super cool, rad, etc. etc. “Rock Star from Mars” means cokehead.

“The run I was on made Sinatra, Flynn, Jagger, Richards just look like droopy-eyed armless children.”

What This Means: I do a lot of drugs. I do so many drugs I don’t really deserve to be here anymore but… hey, whatcha gonna do? I keep trying to die but I keep on making it.

Armless children refers to “Thalidomide babies,” of the early 1960s – these are children who were born deformed because their mother took this dangerous sedative while pregnant.
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