My long-time listeners (first time callers) may remember my Hot Tub People and More Hot Tub People series from earlier this year, waaaaay before I decided to try to draw. This was one of my favorite things EVER on Not Shallow.

So imagine my immense pleasure when I found this in a magazine from the 1970s:

This is from an ad for Seagram’s 7 Crown – specifically for Seven & Sevens.

Whoah, baby.

I can attest to the fact that when one starts drinking Seven & Sevens, things get out of hand. I had one, debauched night of Seven & Sevens in college and that was that. Halfway through the night I decided that mixing the drink was too much work – far too many ingredients – and it was much better to simply take a sip of 7UP and then a sip of Seagram’s right from the bottle.

So the guy in this photo is going to be feeling some pain.

Speaking of pain… what the hell is going on here? Seagram’s wants you to believe that drinking their drink is going to lead to good times… but is sitting in a hot tub alone while a fully clothed woman pours cold water on your head Good Times? Maybe in feudal Japan.

Here’s the ad copy (Yeah, I can’t read it without hearing Don Draper’s voice in my head, either.)

Seagram’s 7 Crown and 7UP was invented for times like these. Not just good times. Great times.

Crisp. Refreshing. It’s the drink Americans enjoy when they’re enjoying themselves. To enjoy one yourself, simply pour an ounce and a half of Seagram’s 7 Crown over ice and add 7UP.

When you’re having fun, have Seven & Seven… America’s favorite drink.

SAY SEAGRAM’S AND BE SURE.

Here’s my ad copy:

Seagram’s 7 Crown and 7UP was invented for times when you want to get laid but she wants to sit on the edge of the hot tub and play stupid water games.

Crisp. Deceptive. It’s the drink Americans turn to when they want to believe they’re enjoying themselves. To make one, fill a glass with about two-thirds Seagram’s  and a dash of 7UP, just enough to cut that alcohol taste.

When you think you might just possibly, after a few more drinks, have a moment of fun… turn to Seagram’s.

SAY SEAGRAM’S AND BE SURE. TO GET A WICKED HANGOVER.

BTW, my hot tub palace, which I will open in 2016, will be called Sevens & Sevens’ 7 Crown.