From today’s Star Tribune article about paranormal investigator Chad Lewis , here are his five top haunted places in the Twin Cities:

Calvary Cemetery in St. Paul: The vengeful spirit of a woman put to death continues to wander her final (un)resting place. [She said she wanted to be cremated and have her ashes scattered at Sea World, dammit.]

Landmark Center in St. Paul: Visitors to this historic site report that it is plagued by the ghost of an old gangster who still walks the building and makes himself known during weddings. [Who doesn’t like a party?]

First Avenue nightclub in Minneapolis: Visitors to this landmark building report seeing the ghost of a young woman who likes to frequent the women’s bathroom. [Really? She wants to be in there? Must really have to pee. Or do some more acid. “Holy shit! I can, like, totally see through my hands!” Or maybe it’s a ghost of a woman who committed suicide after that depressing Low Christmas show five years ago. I sort of lost my will to live after that, too.]

Wabasha Street Caves in St. Paul: Haunted by several victims of a card game gone awry. Others see the ghostly image off an old flapper girl roaming the caves. [ Still others see an old prospector with a pick and a sifting pan, Bette Davis and The Creeper from Scooby Doo.]

Forepaugh’s restaurant in St. Paul: The spirit of Joseph Forepaugh roams his former residence along with his former mistress, Molly, who met her fate in the home. [Hot ghost sex! Ghostie grab ass!]