“I try to eat healthy, even my snacks that I go nuts for are healthy, I rarely ever eat things like Cheetos.”

Not that I’m thinking about Cheetos. Not that I like Cheetos. Not that I ate an entire bag of Cheetos last night and now I’m starting over because it’s Monday, the start of a new week. This week I’m going to be perfect. This week I will only eat nuts and berries for snacks. I’m Nutz for Nuts! Who would want to eat Cheeots, anyway? Who likes that cheddar cheese taste and that satisfying bite down into a puff of fatty crispiness?

“I owe my success to having listened respectfully to the very best advice, and then going away and doing the exact opposite.”

Face it. I’m fucking raaaaaad as hell.