Tag Archives: keanu reeves

These Liaisons… They Are Dangerous

dangerous castI made a disturbing discovery this weekend. My teenage self was an unreliable narrator. How else to explain how I’d convinced myself for years, since first seeing the film on VHS, that Dangerous Liaisons (1988) is a story well-told? Was it the same misguided taste that led me to believe that Ponderosa Steakhouse was a place to get a superb meal?

My memory of this film is of a breathless, tightly-wound drama full of sex and intrigue acted by amazing thespians (Glenn Close, John Malkovich, Michelle Pfeiffer)  in gorgeous period costumes. Clearly, my high school self was blown away. (It didn’t take much.)

But the cold (adult) reality? A horribly written mess with comical casting. The official summary of the film is, “Rich and bored aristocrats in Rococo France play high-stakes games of passion and betrayal.”  My summary would be more along the lines of, “Rich and bored aristocrats try to keep themselves busy and, in so doing, change their motivation once every day or so, so often, in fact, that the viewer gets lost and bored and starts to concentrate on John Malcovich’s teeth and why they were not fixed if he was going to pursue a life in the movies.”

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Nothing On TV, Let’s Watch a Movie: The Devil’s Advocate

devilsAdvocateRebecca: So I think it’s interesting that we decided to watch this movie now, right when we’re talking about moving to New York so you can take a job at a law firm and I can paint the walls of our expensive “classic 8” apartment every other day. Uh, are you rethinking this decision at all?

Keith: Listen, woman, I’ve never lost a case, I have an undefinable Southern accent and I like to bite women on the ass while dancing. New York is the place for me.

Rebecca: Well, I learned a lot from watching this movie. Yellow walls and maroon furniture don’t go well together.

Keith: Did you notice the way the wall colors of the apartment kept changing and Mary Ann (Charlize Theron), in her final breakdown, even said something like, “Did you like the green?” There was this weird agenda in the movie that only evil city people try to decorate their apartments, and then they do it badly.

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