The Short Stack: January 17

Every Friday, I share  the pop culture, fashion, lit and random blips that were on my radar during the week. Enjoy! 

Are you guys reading Bitches Gotta Eat? It’s the funniest thing out there. Especially if you’re feeling shitty about stuff. And she’s got a book out called Meaty that is hilarious.

Meaty by Samantha Irby - buy it!

I finished the first Tori Spelling book, sTORI Telling, and I immediately got Mommywood. Why am I doing this to myself? I think I find Tori’s confusion compelling and comforting. When something goes wrong, she never says the things we’re taught to say as adults. Stuff like, “Well, life isn’t fair, so I guess this is just the way it’s gonna be.” Instead, every tiny twist and turn her life takes is dissected, no matter how inconsequential, as if it will suddenly be different if she LiveJournals… I mean writes about it. Her contradictions are endearing – in the first book, she berated her mother for always throwing her Raggedy Ann themed birthday parties; in book two she’s nostalgic for those Raggedy Ann parties. She spends a lot of time talking about the birthday parties she had as a kid  in both books, saying how over-the-top they were. Then she throws her one-year-old an over-the-top party complete with a cake from the same bakery her mother got her cakes from. Oh, Tori.

[Confession: now that things are blowing up with Dean, it seems like the Tori divorce memoir can’t be that far off. One night when I had trouble sleeping I spent my time trying to think of a good title for it that would incorporate “Tori” or “Spelling” (her other books are uncharted terriTORI, celebraTORI and Spelling It Like It Is and was disappointed in myself when I couldn’t come up with anything.]

Soon I’ll be watching Tim Gunn’s new show Under the Gunn (har?) Finally getting out from underneath the yoke of Heidi, and with Anya Ayoung-Chee and Nick Verreos as mentors? Swaddle me in a chic, tasteful blanket, hand me a glass of pinot and leave me alone with the TV for an hour.

And this Flowers in the Attic thingy too, also on Lifetime? Wow, Lifetime. Are you reading my mind? Next thing you know they’re going to give Tori a talk show.

Flowers in the Attic cast

No big surprise, I’d love to lose some lbs. in 2014, just like the rest of America. So I went to Body Pump and made myself really sore as punishment. Raising my arms up more than a few inches made me grunt with pain for several days. I had to look up exactly which muscles were sore in my arms: apparently I haven’t been giving my deltoids, brachialis or brachioradialis enough to do in the past fifteen years. I WILL NOT BE DETERRED!

I have to say I can’t wait until all the weak-willed people give up and I can get a parking spot at the gym. By late February I’ll be parking in the front row. And while I’m complaining, let me add that the track at the gym is not the place to conduct your lover’s spat. A couple on Tuesday night managed to have a fight while walking the track, then started jogging, gave each other the cold shoulder while doing a million crunches while side-by-side on mats in the stretching area, then headed out for some more laps, during which the woman walked like she was sleepwalking, weaving into other people’s paths as she contemplated what an asshole her boyfriend is. I have to hand it to them though – they were there to exercise and, by god, they did it.

We’ve been eating more vegan-y. This is the cookbook where I’m getting all my good ideas these days – Isa Does It! It is amazing. It is wildly delicious. Double the pancake recipes.

It is winter. I hardly leave the house. I am boring and going insane. I am reading Tori Spelling memoirs as if they matter.

Unfortunately, Blacklist Vintage in Minneapolis is closing. Bad if you want some vintage come spring. Good if you want to go to a big sale starting January 25. OK, some Mary Tyler Moore-style blouses might get me out of the house.

Do you totally hate all your clothes right now? I have nothing to wear to go see 12 Years a Slave.

This song, originally from Karate Kid, is the best workout song there is. Why this is set to Rocky in this video, I don’t know  – the rippling thigh scene on the beach is cool though.

This is the song they’re going to play when I show up at Body Pump from now on: