You Blow My Minnnnd

Let’s play a game! Which “Missed Connections” from Craig’s List listed below are FAKE?

girl in keys cafe, you blow my minnnnd
daaaaym, baby u were fine as hell. i think u were sum kinda latinaaaa. baby girl, im jus trynna holla. u had sum sexy ass brown eyes n DANG GURL. i kno ur name wuz sam and i just wanted to taste your caramel. cum on, plz reply if u eva read this. i think i luv u. u smelled so nice. n if ur not interested, that hottie redhead can holla too.

Gold’s Gym Redhead Twenty Something
I watch you. I always watch you. In the creepiest bad movie kind of way ! Your long straight red hair always in a pony, those tight little shorts we all know you wear on purpose that show your perfect smooth and just rightly toned legs, the seam running up your ass perfectly. The things I think about doing to that ass stirs me while i’m behind you watching. You on your machine me on mine. I watch your sweat glisten your shoulders and I would love to smell the scent in your pits after your workout. Just to breath you in. Taste the bottom of your salty soles after your shoes and booty socks come off in that locker room.

I always leave my machine and head for the sauna and sweat. You never come in I know but I think what a day of pleasure to watch you sit in there and pour sweat out while I lust over you up close and try to smell you in the air.

You Bought A Sucker
Saw you at Drink Sat. night. I was bride-to-be wearing Suck For A Buck t-shirt. You bought. You: Ed Hardy t-shirt skinny jeans. You were so hot you made me forget my wedding date and the name of my fiance. Am I making a mistake? You tell me.

St. Patrick’s Day Parade
You were in the parade, braids on the jazz band float for some bar can’t remember the name of the bar. I was holding a baby with a mickey mousse jacket on , I have long red hair. You looked at me and put your eye brows up and down, I am single , are you ? Lets chat

Target Dtwn
I was buying advil and u buying bandaids and u said u r to beautiful to have a headache and made me laugh. I felt a spark did u? My headache went away. u looked good in your fleece.

You Boarded The 3 Bus, Our Gazes Met Like 3 Times
I was the blonde fellow with a green and blue bandana under a pair of headphones under a white headband. We glanced at each other no fewer than three times while you were boarding the bus. I was planning on giving you my phone number but procrastinated too long finding paper and pen and then my stop came up. When I went to get off the bus, I ran back for a bus shelter sign I found. You were a young woman, I’d guess 19-24, with short black hair, cute intelligent/-looking face, larger bottom/hips. This is a long shot, but hopefully you’ll find this.

The Girl with the Black Hair And Artists Walk
i see you often with your messy raven hair  you don’t care how you look and that’s the magic that makes you so beautiful  you are an artist  but you could be from ipanema with that strut  i long for you

Psych 312
You have brown hair, glasses, always writing in your notebook. You look like grown-up Harry Potter and I want to make out with you. Look up from your notebook and you’ll see me staring at you! I never pay attention in class… can I borrow your notebook after we make out?

Little 6 Casino Sunday Dishwater Blond Hair
You were playing the 1 Cent or 2 Cent Machines …near the front of the casino. We passed each other intially in the aisle and you caught me in a huge WOW when I saw you. I set at a machine and we exchanged glances quite a few times. You moved once and I walked by you a few times, I believe you were wearing a mutli colored blouse that was fairly low cut in the front. I had light brown hair, blue sweater and wearing jeans. I am completely embarrassed that I didn’t come and sit down by you to talk. You seemed to know a lot of people there do you go every Sunday? Can I buy you coffee or breakfast?

3 thoughts on “You Blow My Minnnnd

  1. I think “You Bought a Sucker” is the fake. I’ve talked myself into thinking that sounds like your writing style…

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