Lucky Magazine is completely ridiculous. And I read it. Well, “read” might be going a bit far. Is there anything to read in this magazine? No. I look at the pictures. Lucky is a picture book for adult women. Sometimes, if I’ve had a stressful day, I can feel my blood pressure go down as I ogle its pages, much the way they say petting a dog or cat can do. I guess this is one of the pros for Lucky. Also:

I see ads for really cute shoes.
I get ideas for how to put clothes together.
I find out about cosmetics and hair products that I might like to try but would never know to look for. Would I ever have thought about purchasing purple mascara without Lucky? Probably not.

Of course I get that the entire magazine is built around the mission of creating want/desire where before there wasn’t any. Truthfully, the best thing about the mag is the pictures that give you ideas for shapes and colors for clothes. I’ve never bought any of the clothes I’ve seen in Lucky but by looking at the mag I get a better idea of how to work what I already own and what to look for when I’m combing the racks at Savers.

Now for some serious cons:

What’s up with the sheet of stickers in front you’re supposed to put on the pages featuring items you like? Even more shameful, why do the stickers have to say “Yes!” As if I might be stupid enough to put a sticker on the page of a magazine and then not remember why. “Did I mark this page because it was incredibly boring? Because there was something truly ugly there? No! It’s because I want that $480 sundress!”

Everything is hideously expensive. Do they really think we all shop at tiny boutiques or that women in Minnesota will call the 1-800 numbers they print with some of the items to find out where to get them? For example, the April issue has a feature on spring jackets. Would you like a stretch cotton jacket for $574 or a linen one for $398? I know, I’m so Middle America. If you’re, I don’t know, Eva Longoria, sure. If you’re Jane from Rochester, MN, no way. If you’re Fancy New York Lawyer, sure, order up the cotton twill jacket that’s $1,235. Hell, get two. If you live in Wisconsin and work for a nonprofit, the most you’d want to spend is, what, $100?

The “What I Want NOW!” features in the front of the mag. These pages feature someone who works at the magazine detailing all the stuff they want. Annoying. Especially since you know they got everything on the page for free because the companies send them samples. The pages should be called “Free Stuff That Came Into the Office That I Grabbed Before Anyone Else.” Or, “Free Stuff I Got Because I’m Executive Editor of Lucky.”

But I’ll keep looking. Where else will I find out that the new look is slouchy pullovers paired with flouncy skirts? Or see a picture of these new sandals from Aerosoles that come in purple?