I’m hung up on cakes lately. Now I found this cake idea online:

Just kidding, that’s actually a picture of my cat’s litter box.

Just kidding again, that’s actually a cake.

Gross.

Here’s the description that goes along with the cake:

This clever Halloween cake recipe, that frightfully resembles a well used kitty litter box, is actually delicious, despite its appearance. For the proper presentation, use a brand new (and definitely unused) plastic cat litter box and spoon it onto plates with a new (NEVER used) pooper scooper.

Be warned, generally this cake will not get eaten much. People just can’t seem to get over the appearance, no matter how good it may taste. Go figure.

I have some questions.

1. How is a box full of cat shit celebratory of Halloween?

2. If the office crazy person brought this in, would you trust that they used a new box and scooper? What if they waited until after you ate it to mention that they meant to run to the store the night before and get a new box and scooper but, one thing led to another, things got busy and… they just decided to use one they had sitting around. But they washed it really, really well.

3. Have you noticed a weird fascination with chocolate/candy and shit? Have you ever been to one of those baby showers where they mush up candy bars and put them into diapers and then have you smell them to guess which kind of candy bar each contains? I have always found that game to be depraved. And now guests are supposed to nosh on a Tootsie Roll that looks like cat shit?

The ingredients:

Ingredients: 1 spice or German chocolate cake mix
1 white cake mix
2 large packages vanilla instant pudding mix, prepared
1 large package vanilla sandwich cookies (these get ground up to make the litter)
green food coloring
12 small Tootsie Roll candies

1 new kitty litter pan
1 new kitty litter pan liner (or used – remember we’re trying to reduce, reuse and recycle, folks)
1 new pooper scooper

The directions:

Put 3 unwrapped Tootsie rolls in a microwave safe dish and heat until soft and pliable. Shape ends so they are no longer blunt, curving slightly.

You know, make it look like cat shit. Because when a cat squeezes one out, it’s not blunt on the edges. No. It’s slightly curved. One might even say tapered.

Repeat with 3 more Tootsie rolls; bury them in the mixture. Sprinkle the other half of cookie crumbs over top. Scatter the green cookie crumbs lightly on top of everything — this is supposed to look like the chlorophyll in kitty litter.

Mmmm… chlorophyll.

Heat 3 Tootsie Rolls in the microwave until almost melted. Scrape them on top of the cake; sprinkle with cookie crumbs. Spread remaining Tootsie Rolls over the top. For the coup de gras take one Tootsie Roll and heat until pliable, hang it over the side of the kitty litter box, sprinkling it lightly with cookie crumbs. Place the box on a newspaper and sprinkle a few of the cookie crumbs around for a truly disgusting effect!

But don’t stop there. Go out in your yard and pull up some grass. Coat it with melted Tootsie Roll and swirl it around in the litter. Uh oh! Looks like kitty was outside eating the lawn again!

Spray down entire cake with cat piss. Serve immediately.