I’m about to take off for our (becoming annual) trip to Florida for Christmas. Hopefully, I will have lots to share about what’s happening down in the The Villages, the retirement community where my parents live. Maybe there will be some touching poems published in the Villages newspaper. Or some action at the adults-only pool. And fun dance parties at Katie Belle’s, a “stunning two-story club located right on Town Square!”
But in the meantime, I’d like to leave you with a holiday greeting from some of my favorite children… The Singing Snowballs!
First up, conjoined twins, Bun-Bun and Martha, with their cover of “Hell Breaks Loose” by Eminem!
“Now this should be the part of the song that they drop the needle on,
and hell breaks loose,
try to restrain us you can’t contain us,
we still gonna make a stink no matter what we do,
everywhere we go it seems were looking for any excuse to just cut loose,
so this should be the part of the song that they drop the needle on
and hell breaks loose”
And now Sweet Vicky with Lady Gaga’s “Bad Romance”…
You know that I want you
And you know that I need you
I want it bad, your bad romance
I want your love and
I want your revenge
You and me could write a bad romance
(Oh-oh-oh–oh-oooh! )
I want your love and
All your lovers’ revenge
You and me could write a bad romance
Just in case you didn’t get the gist of what Sweet Vicky is saying, let’s get a bit more specific:
I want your ugly
I want your disease
I want your everything
As long as it’s free
I want your love
(Love-love-love I want your love)
LOOK INTO MY CRAZY EYES!
And now let’s hear from Joan, one of the more, um, wild Snowball Children:
By the time you read this, I may have given birth, as I am now 4 weeks overdue. Will I lose the baby weight and get back into my hot pants and halter tops? Well…
You’re not gonna see it through
We know what you’re gonna do
(You’re gonna fail) You’re not gonna see it through
(You’re gonna fail) We know what I say is true
Happy New Year’s Day
2002 and 3 were just like 4 and 5 and 6
Happy New Year’s day
You just remind yourself of all the stuff you’ll never fix
You know that I know as well as you do it’s not gonna last
Did you forget results of resolutions from the past?
File your intentions out of sight and out of mind
You’ll never folllow through with promises of any kind
(from “Happy Fucking New Year” by Psychostick)
Happy Holidays! Happy New Year! Onward and upward in 2010!
Forget the snowball children (alright, they are horrible) I want to talk about “The Villages”! My sister in law lives there! Is it like a movie set? She told me that she rides a golf cart around “The Villages”.
p.s. I found your blog because I googled Jane Seymour stupid necklace. The Folgers discussion was so funny. I haven’t seen it–but you brought it to life. Great writing. Tell us about “The Villages”!
Yes, there will be a post about The Villages very soon. Tonight is my last stay in the “friendliest retirement hometown,” or whatever they call it. I don’t think I’m going to make it to Katie Belle’s this year, which is a shame because that’s where all the hot singles action takes place. Not that I’m on the market, but its the best people watching. Stay tuned!